Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the contemporary era,
crime
rates have increased rapidly in comparison with the previous years.Many individuals argue that it is our responsibility to prevent illegal activities
,whereas
a few groups of people
say we can not contribute much towards the prevention of crime
.In my opinion,I agree with the former view,because awareness and protection are responsibilities of everyone, I will discuss both viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand,some people
believe that reducing the crime
rate is everyone's duty and I agree with them.Firstly
, awareness camps are run by the government,but very few people
are participating with them,therefore
,the success rate of this
strategy is very low. If the majority of the population is involved,there will be significant positive outcomes.For example
,according to
a recent survey,there is the least population participating from the rural areas in awareness programs.Another reason is not following the guidelines of the authorities.There are lots of illegal activities
reported,because of not obeying the rules and regulations such
as drink and driving,overspeeding and misuse of the internet.
On the other hand
,other people
stated that we cannot help more to stop criminal activities
.First and foremost, it is all up to the higher authorities to tackle this
situation.To elaborate, the government bodies should take strict actions against the people
,who are breaking the rules ,so others can learn from that. Furthermore
, schools and universities may put more focus on educating young students,because they are the main culprits, who are largely part of these crime
reports.For instance
,according to
one police survey, 30-35% of youngsters are involved in criminal events every year.
In conclusion,though a few people
believe that it is all the responsibility of the authorities,I feel that it
is combined approach from every citizen and the government will help to reduce illegal Correct pronoun usage
apply
activities
as soon as possible.Submitted by pp6859 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the essay prompt by discussing both views and giving your opinion. However, you could expand a bit more on both perspectives for a more comprehensive response.
coherence
While the essay is generally clear, there are moments where connecting ideas within a paragraph could be smoother. Ensure that each idea flows logically into the next.
general
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and punctuation, such as unnecessary commas and missing spaces after punctuation marks.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the survey about rural participation in awareness programs.