Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the contemporary era,
crime
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rates have increased rapidly in comparison with the previous years.Many individuals argue that it is our responsibility to prevent illegal
activities
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,
whereas
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a few groups of
people
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say we can not contribute much towards the prevention of
crime
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.In my opinion,I agree with the former view,because awareness and protection are responsibilities of everyone, I will discuss both viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand,some
people
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believe that reducing the
crime
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rate is everyone's duty and I agree with them.
Firstly
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, awareness camps are run by the government,but very few
people
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are participating with them,
therefore
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,the success rate of
this
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strategy is very low. If the majority of the population is involved,there will be significant positive outcomes.
For example
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,
according to
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a recent survey,there is the least population participating from the rural areas in awareness programs.Another reason is not following the guidelines of the authorities.There are lots of illegal
activities
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reported,because of not obeying the rules and regulations
such
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as drink and driving,overspeeding and misuse of the internet.
On the other hand
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,other
people
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stated that we cannot help more to stop criminal
activities
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.First and foremost, it is all up to the higher authorities to tackle
this
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situation.To elaborate, the government bodies should take strict actions against the
people
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,who are breaking the rules ,so others can learn from that.
Furthermore
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, schools and universities may put more focus on educating young students,because they are the main culprits, who are largely part of these
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

reports.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

one police survey, 30-35% of youngsters are involved in criminal events every year. In conclusion,though a few
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

believe that it is all the responsibility of the authorities,I feel that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
is combined approach from every citizen and the government will help to reduce illegal
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as soon as possible.

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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the essay prompt by discussing both views and giving your opinion. However, you could expand a bit more on both perspectives for a more comprehensive response.
coherence
While the essay is generally clear, there are moments where connecting ideas within a paragraph could be smoother. Ensure that each idea flows logically into the next.
general
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and punctuation, such as unnecessary commas and missing spaces after punctuation marks.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a good framework for your essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the survey about rural participation in awareness programs.
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