Some people believe that more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary era,
crime
rates have increased rapidly in comparison with the previous years.Many individuals argue that it is our responsibility to prevent illegal activities
,whereas
a few groups of people
say we can not contribute much towards the prevention of crime
.In my opinion,I agree with the former view,because awareness and protection are responsibilities of everyone, ,
I will discuss both viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand,some Change the punctuation
apply
people
believe that reducing the crime
rate is everyone's duty and I agree with them.Firstly
, awareness camps are run by the government,but very few people
are participating with them,therefore
,the success rate of this
strategy is very low. If the majority of the population is involved,there will be significant positive outcomes.For example
,according to
a recent survey,there is the least population participating from the rural areas in awareness programs.Another reason is not following the guidelines of the authorities.There are lots of illegal activities
reported,because of not obeying the rules and regulations such
as drink and driving,overspeeding and misuse of the internet.
On the other hand
,other people
stated that we cannot help more to stop criminal activities
.The first
and foremostCorrect article usage
First
is that
it is all up to the higher authorities to tackle Verb problem
,
this
situation.To elaborate, the government bodies should take strict actions against the people
,who are breaking the rules ,so others can learn from that. Furthermore
, schools and universities may put more focus on educating young students,because they are the main culprits, who are largely part of these crime
reports.For instance
,according to
one police survey, 30-35% of youngsters are involved in criminal events every year.
In conclusion,though a few people
believe that it is all the responsibility of the authorities,I feel that it
is combined approach from every citizen and the government will help to reduce illegal Correct pronoun usage
apply
activities
as soon as possible.Submitted by pp6859 on
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coherence
The essay could benefit from better organization. For instance, clearer separation between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is necessary.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples and statistical data to validate your points.
coherence
Work on reducing run-on sentences and improving sentence variety. This will make your essay easier to read.
task achievement
You effectively covered both viewpoints, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence
Introduction and conclusion are present, making the essay complete.
coherence
The use of transitions such as 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' promotes coherence.
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