Write about the following topic : All children should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades, To what extent do you agree or disagree with statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many believe that it is essential for
children
to learn a foreign
language
at the earliest possible grade. In my opinion, it is not optimal for the learning experience of the
children
and it will place a high demand on school systems to employ qualified teachers. It is observed that young
children
tend to pick up new
languages
faster
due to
the plasticity of their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
, and as they learn implicitly, the more exposure they get, the more they can absorb.
For example
,
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
have shown that those who learn a new
language
fast are usually coming from a bilingual family, in which their parents
also
speak the
language
at home.
However
, it
also
poses challenges as there is
limited
Add an article
a limited
show examples
amount of time scheduled for learning foreign
languages
, making it difficult to allow the students to be fully immersed in the
languages
taught.
Hence
, if young
children
only learn a new
language
in school, it is challenging to set up the required amount of time and the accurate environment to optimize the learning experience for them.
Moreover
,
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
children
in the earliest grade requires specialised training, and not every teacher is qualified for the job. What
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
difficult is to find a qualified teacher with the proper training and skillsets to teach a certain
language
at a very young age. The recruitment process may put
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stress on the school system, and it could be costly to find a suitable candidate.
Additionally
, even if a candidate can be found, more training might be required to facilitate the teachers with skills and knowledge that are suitable for teaching
such
young individuals. In conclusion, requiring young
children
to learn new
languages
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
an early age will not be a good idea, as they require
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
amount of exposure
due to
their learning
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
.
Furthermore
, it is difficult to find qualified teachers for the jobs.
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task response, make sure to address both potential benefits and drawbacks of the topic. This will show a balanced view and a deeper understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to better link your paragraphs and ideas. For example, words like 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'moreover' can help clarify the relationships between points.
task achievement
Including more specific examples could make the essay more compelling. For instance, reference specific studies or data that demonstrate the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of early language learning.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly presenting your main argument and summarizing your points effectively.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, and it goes beyond simple reasoning to some degree.
task achievement
You have used relevant reasons to support your viewpoint, which adds strength to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • linguistic skills
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • multitasking
  • cultural awareness
  • open-minded
  • global understanding
  • linguistic plasticity
  • pronunciation
  • grammar
  • imposing
  • frustration
  • disinterest
  • balanced
  • overemphasis
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
  • well-rounded education
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