Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree?

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Over the past few decades, there has been a common belief that one should be allowed to keep as much
money
as one earns and not be taxed by authorities. The writer,
however
, remains unconvinced because of the rich’s responsibility for social development, despite those emphasizing the over-reliance of the poor.
Initially
, it is crucial to acknowledge that the wealthier must be accountable for enhancing social living conditions. Typically, governments across the globe will use the
money
gained from taxing individuals at all economic levels in society as a whole to invest in the improvement of public amenities, medical centres, educational systems, and accommodation,
for instance
, thereby raising people’s living quality.
For
this
reason, should there be no
money
, especially the income tax of citizens, authorities will be unable to pay for these developments,
consequently
resulting in the downturn of social living standards and other future social problems
such
as untreatable disorders and a lack an intelligent workforce threatening the development of society afterwards. Some sceptics,
nevertheless
, contend that the poor will become over-reliant on the rich’s
money
to pay for their living costs. Specifically, Vietnam is a prime example of
this
, where countless citizens, especially those coming from disadvantaged family backgrounds, opt for not working to live their whole lives since there are monthly subsidies from local states,
thus
never being able to escape from poverty. To a certain extent,
this
is credible, but it is vital to recognize that those who have to seek others’ assistance and decide not to work must have suffered from difficult circumstances, being disabled,
for instance
,
thus
leading these individuals to become incapable of working. It is,
therefore
, impossible for those people to pay for tax as others, so
instead
wealthier should be responsible for improving their living conditions. In conclusion, even though some justify the poor’s overdependence on the
money
of the rich, it has been demonstrated that
this
money
is essential for both their own and social living quality enhancement.
Moreover
, by the wealthy paying taxes, the wealth gap
that is
the root cause of other social issues will be bridged positively.
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider refining your argument for clarity. Make sure each paragraph directly supports your thesis and that there is a clear flow of ideas from one point to the next. Also, where possible, use more specific data or studies to back up your points.
coherence cohesion
Try to further improve the introduction by briefly summarizing the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs. This helps set the stage for your argument and provides clearer direction for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that succinctly states the main point you will discuss. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps maintain a logical progression of ideas and makes your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay and makes your points more credible.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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