Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympic is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

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Presently, the topic of the role of games in Olympic competition is an important point. From my perspective, money should be invested in other factors relating to resident's
life
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rather than used for these sports organizations. It is vital to understand that
such
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investment could be made for other aspects of
life
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, especially for developing
countries
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that have little concern for sporting events. Take the UK as an example, the country known
its
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for its
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luxury and wealth. There are still many slums and underprivileged areas, showing a large gap between the rich and the poor in society.
This
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situation is evidence of the need for financial support from governments in the most basic living standards, obviously excluding the craving for winning a sporting game like the
Olympics
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.
However
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, people who advocate for the
Olympics
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might have their own reasoning.
Due to
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the fact that joining
this
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competition will create opportunities for nations to enhance international relationships, possibly becoming a foundation for their future cooperation.
As a result
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, these nations become potential allies in more than one aspect of sporting competition.
This
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may be true but without having to participate in sports festivals,
countries
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can create business relationships in other less expensive and more profitable ways
such
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as research or construction projects. I contended that it would be better if the government paid attention to the quality of individuals 'lives other than these sporting events. As
such
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,
instead
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of investing in organizing the
Olympics
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which is overpriced the main responsibility of heads of state should be to create opportunities for people to have a fulfilling
life
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, not to satisfy the entertainment of the rich or elite.
Thus
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, if governments do not improve the living standards for residents, the economy in these
countries
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will be undeveloped and there will be
lack
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a lack
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of talented people
also
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there will be no chances to join the
Olympics
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. In conclusion,
while
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the Olympic games can make relationships between different
countries
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, I still think that making a better
life
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for humans is the top priority that governments should
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
.

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task achievement
While your stance is clear, some points lack depth and specificity. Try to provide more detailed examples and expand on arguments to enhance your position.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be clearer. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by presenting both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, reinforcing your arguments clearly.
task achievement
The main points are adequately supported, but there's room for more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas is mostly maintained throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster global unity
  • international camaraderie
  • cultural exchange
  • mutual understanding
  • platform for showcasing
  • national pride
  • human achievement
  • economic benefits
  • influx of tourism
  • boost local economies
  • infrastructure investments
  • long-term benefits
  • enormous costs
  • pressing social issues
  • white elephants
  • poor return on investment
  • environmental impact
  • short-lived event
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