IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. agree or disagree

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It is commonly believed that citizens have a right to obtain all their money and there are no reasons to pay tax for the
government
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. The writer does not contend with
this
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 assumption because
taxes
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 must be allocated to social welfare including the healthcare system and education in order to improve the living conditions of residents. It is crucial to understand that medical institutions and
hospitals
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 are always subsidized by the
government
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. To be more specific, funding from the
government
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 can invest in medical equipment and pay more salaries for scientists to encourage them to come up with several initiatives in treatment.
Therefore
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, the dwellers have been cured a high-quality
hospitals
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 with state-of-the-art facilities
as well as
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 modern therapies, leading to an increase in life expectancy. Consider Norway as a prime example, where the authorities have used the majority of
taxes
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 to invest in improving the facilities in
hospitals
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,
thus
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, the average life expectancy of
this
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 nation is always in the top five of the world.
Furthermore
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, the educational system requires money from the
government
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 to operate and develop. To explain in more detail,
taxes
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 can help schools pay for experienced and talented teachers who give better curriculums to
students
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. To a certain extent, schools might use the funding from the authorities to conduct more extracurricular activities so as to convey
students
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 essential skills for their lives.
For
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this
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 reason, children will not only gain more academic achievements but
also
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 holistic progress.
For instance
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, the US has spent a huge amount of money on teachers and organizing numerous outdoor activities for
students
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,
as a result
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, the quality of American education has been voted as an ideal learning environment for all
students
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. In conclusion, paying
taxes
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 should be a compulsory task for all citizens
due to
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 the higher-quality
hospitals
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along with
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 better academic performance of
students
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.
Hence
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, it has been shown that each individual should take responsibility for paying
taxes
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 to the
government
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.

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coherence
The essay should maintain a smooth logical flow throughout. Try to ensure that each point is clearly connected to the next, to make the argument more compelling. A few transitional phrases could help in this regard.
task achievement
While your ideas and examples are clear and relevant, strive to deepen your analysis in each example to make your task response even more robust. Spend a bit more time explaining the significance of each example and how it supports your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt and effectively argues the position taken.
coherence
The essay contains well-supported main points, with relevant examples illustrating the arguments.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and present a clear standpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • contribute
  • welfare
  • public services
  • progressive taxation
  • distribution of wealth
  • civic duty
  • social cohesion
  • tax evasion
  • economic disparities
  • social unrest
  • individual rights
  • societal responsibilities
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