IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT ALL PEOPLE SHOULD STAY IN FULL-TIME EDUCATION UNTIL THEY ARE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

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PEOPLE WOULD ARGUE THAT FOLLOWING STUDY UNTIL 18
YEARS
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 OLD IS A VITAL ROLE PART OF INDIVIDUAL DEVELOPMENT AND VALUABLE ADVANCEMENT. THERE ARE A RANGE OF REASONS THAT CAN PROVE THAT STUDYING AT LEAST 18
YEARS
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 OLD SHOULD BE COMPULSORY IN INDIVIDUAL'S LIVES. IT IS VITAL TO UNDERSTAND THAT FOLLOWING FOR EDUCATION TO GAIN AT LEAST
HIGHSCHOOL
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HIGH SCHOOL
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 QUALIFICATION
,
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 BECAUSE BEING A PERSON WHO HAS
KNOWLEDGE
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 HAS MUCH MORE ADVANTAGEOUS IN WORK
AS WELL AS
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 SOCIAL LIFE IN THE FUTURE.
AS A RESULT
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, HAVING STUDIED UNTIL 18
YEARS
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 OLD IS KEY TO ALLOWING INDIVIDUALS TO APPLY FOR SOME SIGNIFICANT OCCUPATIONS THAT ITS SUITABLE FOR INDIVIDUAL SITUATIONS CAREERS.
FOR EXAMPLE
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, THERE ARE A LOT OF COMPANIES THAT EMPLOY SWEATED LABOUR JOBS WITHOUT HIGH REQUIREMENTS A UNIVERSITY FOUNDATION. IN MODERN SOCIETY, IF YOU WERE TO GET A STABLE CAREER AND HAVE THE ABILITY TO SUPPORT YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY, YOU WOULD HAVE COMPLETED YOUR STUDIES AT LEAST IN HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE EDUCATION IS THE SHORTEST WAY TO BRIDGE THE GAP IN YOUR SUCCESS.
ADDITIONALLY
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, BEING
ONE
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'S OWN
KNOWLEDGE
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 MEANS
ONE
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 WILL HAVE MORE AUTONOMY AND POWER TO MAKE
ONE
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'S LIFE DECISIONS.
MOREOVER
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, HAVING
KNOWLEDGE
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 PROVIDES INDIVIDUALS WITH FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND EXPRESSION
AS WELL AS
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 CONTRIBUTES THE
KNOWLEDGE
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 ADVANCEMENT AND THE RATES OF INTELLECTUAL LEVEL IN OUR COUNTRY.
ONE
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 STAND-OUT EXAMPLE IS THE AVERAGE NUMBER OF RESIDENTS IN SINGAPORE WHO HAVE A LEVEL OF EDUCATION RANGING FROM A HIGH DEGREE TO AN ORDINARY DEGREE WHICH IS
ONE
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 OF THE BENEFITS OF THE DEVELOPED IMPORTANCE OF SINGAPORE
AS WELL AS
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 OTHER COUNTRIES. IN CONCLUSION, I SUPPORT THE IDEA THAT STUDYING AT LEAST 18
YEARS
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 OLD IS THE NECESSARY. MY REASON IS THAT IT ALLOWS INDIVIDUALS TO GAIN MORE OPPORTUNITIES, WHICH COULD HELP
ONE
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'S CAREER SATISFACTION LEVEL.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical structure. Try connecting the ideas in a more cohesive manner to enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. It can guide the reader on what to expect in the essay.
task achievement
You have provided some examples, but they could be more specific and detailed to support your points more effectively.
task achievement
Work on your language accuracy. Try to avoid grammatical errors.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a clear framework for your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed the task adequately, focusing on the reasons why education until age 18 should be compulsory.
task achievement
Your points are generally clear and relevant to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • intellectual growth
  • emotional growth
  • social growth
  • evolving job market
  • specialized knowledge
  • extended education
  • reducing inequality
  • essential competencies
  • vocational training
  • economic impact
  • financial constraints
  • infrastructure
  • stress and burnout
  • personal aspirations
  • career aspirations
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