some people say that all people should stay in full time education until they are at least 18 years old . to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, many people believe that
students
who before 18 years old should be used
all of their Wrong verb form
use
time
in education
. In the opinion of the writer think that it is not necessary because education
must have a particular schedule
to bring the
good Correct article usage
apply
effective
to Replace the word
effects
students
.
Firstly
, to bring a
good Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
students
, a schedule
with the things that students
have to complete can not been
Change the verb form
be
lack
because Wrong verb form
lacked
with
the Add the comma(s)
, with
schedule
, students
can know that
what they need to do and how long they will finish it, Correct word choice
apply
this
way can improve students
in their independent and help them to safe their time
than study all of the time
without schedule
that can give them more free Add an article
a schedule
time
to more essential things.
Secondly
, sudents
who before 18 years old Correct your spelling
students
also
Add a missing verb
are also
a
children Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
that
study too much is not a good way to develop themselves Correct pronoun usage
who
in
Change preposition
apply
physical
. So Change the word
physically
instead
of using
all Verb problem
spending
the
Change the word
their
time
on their education
, childrens
should Correct your spelling
children
be balanced
their Wrong verb form
balance
studied
and Replace the word
studies
physocal
Correct your spelling
physical
education
to become a
good Correct article usage
apply
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
but
Correct word choice
and
also
a
good physical fitness.
In conclusion, the writer Correct article usage
apply
believe
that it is not the best way for Change the verb form
believes
students
to use full-time
for their education
to study that
they need to focus on physical like Correct word choice
apply
doing
exercise, Unnecessary verb
apply
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
sport
,.. to be in Fix the agreement mistake
sports
the
good Correct article usage
apply
of
conditionChange preposition
apply
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task achievement
Try to ensure you are addressing all parts of the question. The essay should discuss both the agreement and disagreement points if needed and provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences which outline the main idea of each paragraph. This helps to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
general
Work on improving your grammar and vocabulary. Grammatical mistakes and incorrect vocabulary usage can distract the reader from the main message.
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide reasons for your opinion, which is a good practice in writing argumentative essays.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear conclusion that restates your opinion, which helps in reinforcing your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.