All sudents should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#sudents #study #art #music #school

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Secondary school curricula often spark debates regarding their composition, with some advocating for mandatory

art

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and

music

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education. I firmly believe that all

students

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should be required to study

art

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and

music

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during their secondary school.

Firstly

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, exposure to

art

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and

music

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fosters creativity, which is essential for personal development. Engaging in these subjects allows

students

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to explore their creative potential, enhancing problem-solving

skills

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and innovative thinking.

For example

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students

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who participate in

art

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and

music

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classes learn to approach problems from different perspectives, which can be valuable in other academic and real-life situations.

Additionally

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art

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and

music

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education can serve as a stress relief, providing

students

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with a healthy emotional outlet and improving their

overall

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well-being. Studies have shown that participation in creative activities can reduce anxiety and improve mental health, which is crucial during the often stressful teenage years.

Moreover

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, studying

art

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and

music

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can improve academic performance and social

skills

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. Learning to play an instrument or appreciating visual

art

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requires discipline and focus, which are transferable

skills

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that can benefit

students

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in other academic areas.

For example

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, the practice and dedication needed to master an instrument or create a piece of

art

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help

students

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hone their time management and concentration

skills

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, which have been proven essential in studies and exam preparation.

Furthermore

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art

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and

music

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classes encourage collaboration and communication among peers, as these subjects often involve group projects and performances, fostering teamwork and social interaction.

This

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collaborative environment helps

students

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develop better interpersonal

skills

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, which are essential for success in both academic and professional settings. In conclusion,

art

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and

music

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education should be made compulsory in

Correct article usage

apply

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secondary school as it enhances creativity, reduces stress, improves academic performance, and equips

students

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with essential skill sets.

Tue Jun 04 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To enhance it further, consider adding a counterargument to show a balanced view and then refute it to strengthen your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will make your essay flow even better.

Task Achievement

Ensure each main idea is developed fully with specific and detailed examples. Although you have provided relevant examples, expanding on them could further strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

Your essay response is complete, addressing all aspects of the task. You’ve clearly conveyed your stance and supported it with strong points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay maintains a logical structure throughout, making it easy to follow your arguments. Each paragraph flows logically to the next, enhancing readability.

Task Achievement

Your use of relevant and specific examples supports your main points effectively, adding depth to your essay.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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All sudents should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people believe that increasing prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime rates, while others think that finding alternative solutions is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people use social media to get in touch with others and keep on latest news. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to thei main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter • explain why you want to reduce your working hours • say which hours you would like to work • describe how your part-time studies would benefit yo