IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

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Many individuals believe that an advanced
language
Use synonyms
 should be established for globalization.
This
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 writer argues that the benefits of bringing
people
Use synonyms
 closer and gaining more knowledge outweigh the drawbacks of losing their
mother
Use synonyms
 tongue. The most advantageous factor of the new
language
Use synonyms
 is that it can help
people
Use synonyms
 have a good relationship with other countries.
In other words
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,
people
Use synonyms
 all over the
world
Use synonyms
 can get more details and
also
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 make new contact with foreigners,
as well as
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 a modern
one
Use synonyms
 can reduce misunderstanding among
people
Use synonyms
 together.
This
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 is because communication in the
world
Use synonyms
 has to
use
Use synonyms
 similar
language
Use synonyms
,
in addition
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, it is
also
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 a good way for
people
Use synonyms
 to communicate with others.
For instance
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, if the
world
Use synonyms
 uses the same
language
Use synonyms
, Vietnamese can easily connect with the public around the
world
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, the novel
language
Use synonyms
 is the most important way for individuals to approach more knowledge by well-known writers. First of all, it is evident that
people
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
 have to
use
Use synonyms
 only
one
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
 to write or speak together if a new
one
Use synonyms
 is invented.
As a result
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, society can conveniently gain more profound knowledge and gain more opportunities to become an expert in literature, since all books are obligatory to
use
Use synonyms
 the
last
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one
Use synonyms
.
However
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, the most significant drawback of a new
language
Use synonyms
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 can lose their
mother
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because if there is the improvement of a state-of-the-art
language
Use synonyms
, individuals will
use
Use synonyms
 it regularly to communicate and record, and the replacement of countries’
mother
Use synonyms
 tongues will happen quickly.
For example
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, the development of English currency is now a serious danger to the Vietnamese
language
Use synonyms
 and it is possible that the Vietnamese will be replaced by it.
To conclude
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, the possible impacts on the public, who may be obliterated by their
mother
Use synonyms
 tongue, are outweighed by the many benefits of a new
language
Use synonyms
 in communication and education.
Hence
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, a modern
one
Use synonyms
 can be more beneficial for everyone before commencing with drawbacks.

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task achievement
The introduction sets the stage well, but be sure to clearly state your thesis without overly complex language. Simplify your argument for clarity.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points. This can make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, some sentences are a bit awkward and unclear. Proofreading can help identify areas that need better phrasing or grammar correction.
coherence and cohesion
Try to develop some of your points further. For instance, explain more about the potential negative impacts on mother tongues. Giving a bit more depth will enhance your essay.
introduction and conclusion
The conclusion strongly reiterates your main points and provides a clear summary of your argument, which is crucial for a high-scoring essay.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of staying on topic and addressing both the potential benefits and drawbacks of creating a new international language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • International communication
  • Cultural unity
  • Trade and business facilitation
  • Language barriers
  • Global education systems
  • International diplomacy
  • Political negotiations
  • Linguistic and cultural identities
  • Resistance
  • Native languages
  • Implementation challenges
  • Vocabulary and grammar rules
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