Many young people today know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history in their country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #interest

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Nowadays, youngsters tend to show more interest in international celebrities than in historical figures in their nation.

This

essay,

therefore

, aims to present why

this

trend is rampant and what measures can be adopted to increase the youth’s interest in historical personalities. There are several reasons why the young nowadays are more familiar with foreign superstars than local ones from their country’s

history

Firstly

, social

media

is to blame. With the advent of social networking applications

such

as Facebook, Instagram, and WeChat, it is common that famous people’s lives are everywhere, grabbing young people’s attention. Many teenagers mostly spend their time surfing the Internet, looking at posts or articles about international pop idols, their vacations, their wardrobes, etc.

Secondly

, most youngsters deem

history

as boring.

History

is tedious to learn because they are required to read long stories and memorize heroes’ names, so even their teachers fail to make

history

lessons interesting. Thankfully, a multitude of solutions can be applied to maintain the young populace’s interest in historical people. Mainly, the filmmakers, especially local ones, should produce more movies based on key historical events or national heroes. By doing so, the young people will draw attention to

history

, especially when the actors portraying the heroes or reenacting the historical events in the movies are their idols.

In addition

, it is about time for schools to restructure their curriculum.

History

teaching should be tailored

according to

students’ interests. Rote learning,

that is

, memorizing long lists of heroes’ names or dates of events, must be discouraged. Alternatively, teachers should use modern

media

to create more appealing

history

lessons. In conclusion,

although

youngsters rarely pay attention to historical personalities

due to

social

media

and dull

history

subjects,

this

can be dealt with through concerted efforts from the

media

and schools.

Submitted by xiaoruoling7 on Thu Nov 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which demonstrates an understanding of the essay structure. However, more attention to the logical flow between paragraphs could strengthen coherence.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported, but could be enhanced by incorporating a wider range of specific examples and pertinent details to vividly illustrate the arguments.

task achievement

You have addressed the task and provided clear ideas related to the prompt. Nonetheless, strive to create a more complete response with diverse and intricate ideas that thoroughly explore all parts of the task.

task achievement

While relevant examples are present, they could be more specific and detailed. This would serve to better demonstrate the points made and provide a more in-depth analysis of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

297 words

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Many young people today know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history in their country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve the poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than the financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that living ịn big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

nuclear power is far too dangerous, therefore, countries should ban its use and concentrate instead on developing alternative sources such as hydroelectric power and solar energy.to what extent do you agree.

International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country that they visited. Do Advantages outweigh the disadvantages?