art classes, such as painting and drawing. are as important to child's development s other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is commonly said that
art
should be a compulsory subject in high school as
art
can improve
students
’ development.
This
writer agrees with
this
statement as it helps
students
perform better in other subjects and improves their creativity. It must be understood that creativity is one of the most important soft
skills
in their life,
therefore
, they need to improve it. The most effective way to improve it is to learn
art
.
Students
can express themselves by painting, drawing and using other materials to create an artwork.
This
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
their creativity, patience and resilience.
For example
, in an
art
lesson,
students
can build a house
paper
Change preposition
with paper
show examples
and cardboard, using leaves and paint to create
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
abstract
art
. Those are
exiting
Correct your spelling
exciting
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
for the
students
and enhance their
skills
. Another thing to be considered is
art
can help
students
relax after a long day at school. Other subjects
such
as maths, physics and chemistry require logical
skills
and problem-solving
skills
. When they do math, they can unwind their mind, they will be more concentrated when they come back to study.
Moreover
, they will perform better at these logical subjects as learners are more
relax
Change the form of the verb
relaxed
show examples
, allowing their brains
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
more smoothly and effective flow of thinking.
For instance
, many
students
draw
ad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
paint as their hobby. So an
art
class is an opportunity for them to relax and do whatever they like. In conclusion,
students
should learn
art
as a compulsory subject. It is because it helps
students
relax and improve their performance in logical lessons.

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer transitions between paragraphs to make the flow of ideas more logical and smooth. Consider using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition,' to link ideas more clearly.
Task Achievement
Some ideas could be further developed with more detailed examples to provide stronger support for the main points. For example, you might want to provide a specific instance where art has improved someone's performance in other subjects.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both well-presented, clearly stating the main argument and summarizing the points discussed.
Task Achievement
The essay has a clear and thorough response to the task, addressing both the importance of art in improving creativity and offering relaxation benefits.
Task Achievement
The examples used, such as building a house with paper and using leaves for abstract art, are relevant and help illustrate the points made in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Creativity
  • Imagination
  • Innovation
  • Emotional expression
  • Mental well-being
  • Cognitive abilities
  • Fine motor skills
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Cultural awareness
  • Empathy
  • Critical thinking
  • Observational skills
  • Compulsory
  • High school
  • Development
  • Outlet for stress
  • Global awareness
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