Some pepople feel that the private lives of celebreties should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, more and more
people
keep with a belief that famous people
’s lives
should be private and closed from media services. Although
they deserve to have their own space, they are also
role models to others
which is why need to show their life.
To begin
with, celebrities' private lives
should not be shared with the media. They need to have their own space just to relax from society as well as
other individuals. Moreover
, if people
have such
kind of data, they might be able to do a bulging due to
the envying. For example
, there was a popular TikTok blogger called Charlie Damelio. Her daily life started to be filmed on a TV Channel and after publishing, people
wrote hate on social platforms about herself and her daily habits. Unfortunately, she was not able to cope with this
hate and was underdressed for three years. Therefore
, if celebrities are not protected from it, they will be frustrated with a couple of mental disorders such
as depression.
On the other hand
, celebrities' lives
should be opened because of their character as role models. Since they are role models to others
, and by providing access to it, they give stimulation as well as
advice to others
who want similar positions. To be more precise, right society is waiting for the data about their experiences. For instance
, Jeski Chan is popular not only for his ability but also
for interviews. There he is sharing not only his difficulties but also
teaching viewers. Thus
, if stars share their private life, others
will take it as motivation.
In conclusion, I think that famous people
's lives
should be shared to such
a degree as the stars want. If we did it, we would not have so many suicides because of hate among stars.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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coherence cohesion
It is important to improve the logical structure of your essay. Try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Transition words can be helpful in connecting your ideas better.
task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This will help clarify your arguments and make the essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a concluding paragraph that summarizes your opinion effectively.
task achievement
You've managed to present both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the task.
task achievement
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Your opinion
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