Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matter(such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their wishes. other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

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This

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essay will discuss whether accepting kids to make

thier

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own decition or not . My personal opinion is that

children

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should learn become responsible for

thier

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actions and follow hier goal .

However

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it is

also

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crucial to think about reult and changes of themselves . The following paragraph will present importance of choices and matters. One significant reason that people believe

children

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should make

thier

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own decisions is that they build strong sense of self awareness and learn to deal with the consequences . The impact of

this

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they take responsibility when they make wrong decisions , they have to solve negative results and make obstacle into opportunities .

For instance

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: when they choose to miss the classesas a result lots od missed assignments are created and they feel like they can not catch up fellow students . Once they make mistakes and solve it , it will be solid lesson that they will nevr make the same mistake again and

that is

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slowly helping themto become responsible adult .

Furthermore

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. people learn themselves by making choices ,

for example

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: How thye would react on various situations and they will never know whether they like spicy foods or not if they fo not try .

On the other hand

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children

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are influenced easily by others or what they perceive . To illustrate

this

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point ; lots of kids have accessibility of internet , in order to entertain themselves , kids watch videos on youtube or tiktok theseday, The issue is that lots of inappropriate contents influence them and brainwash .

For example

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: massive LGBTQ trends are occurring currently and those videos make child to believe themselves as homophobic person or another being in defferent genders In summary , creating decisions by themselves ,

children

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learn to be responsible for

thier

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actions and findd what they capable for .

However

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because of they influence easily by others , people should restrict what they watch

buyabuya201Thu May 02 2024

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Introduction Clarity

Make sure your introduction more clearly outlines the two viewpoints being discussed and states your own position more explicitly. This helps prepare the reader for the structure of your essay.

Paragraph Structure

Improve paragraph structure by using clear topic sentences that reflect the main idea of each paragraph, followed by supporting sentences and a conclusion or a transition to the next idea.

Linking Words

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This includes connectors for adding information, contrasting points, and showing cause and effect.

Grammar and Spelling

Work on spelling, grammar, and punctuation accuracy to enhance clarity and professionalism. Frequent errors can detract from the credibility of your argument.

Engagement with Topic

You effectively engage with the essay topic, providing arguments for both sides of the issue, which demonstrates good understanding.

Use of Examples

You provide specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Your opinion

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Modern technology is being used more and more in different aspects of our lives, such as education. Do the advantages of using technology as an educational tool outweigh its disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

some people think that in a city,the best way to travel is by car ,while other people think that bicycle a re a better way of travelling in the city give reasons to answers

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.