In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence
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In contemporary society, with the rise in the cost of living,
both
parents
must work to earn more money. The question of whether this
brings more advantages for children
has become a matter of considerable debate. Although
some argue that this
situation causes parents
to not have enough time
to spend with their children
, I believe this
choice is more beneficial for them.
Firstly
, dual-income families can provide a higher standard of living for their children
. With more financial resources, parents
can afford better education, extracurricular activities, and healthcare. For example
, children
can attend private schools, participate in various enrichment programs, and receive top-notch medical care, all of which contribute to their overall
development and future success.
Secondly
, the additional income can reduce financial stress within the family. When both
parents
work, there is less pressure on one parent to be the sole breadwinner. This
can lead to a more balanced and harmonious family environment, as financial stability often correlates with reduced conflict and stress. Consequently
, parents
can focus more on spending quality time
with their children
when they are not preoccupied with financial worries.
However
, it is essential to acknowledge the concerns regarding parental absence. While
it is true that children
may feel neglected when both
parents
are working, this
issue can be mitigated with proper time
management and prioritization. Parents
can ensure they spend meaningful time
with their children
by planning family activities and being present during important moments.
In conclusion, although
there are concerns about the lack of parental support in dual-income families, I believe the benefits of the additional income outweigh these drawbacks. The improved standard of living and financial stability provided by both
parents
working
ultimately contribute positively to the family's well-being. Verb problem
apply
Parents
should strive to balance work and family life to ensure their children
receive the best of both
worlds.Submitted by zora840810 on
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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance on the issue of both parents working. However, including more specific examples will strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning studies or statistics about the benefits of dual-income families could make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transitional phrases between paragraphs. Currently, your transitions are clear, but adding more diverse connectors can make your essay flow even more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a strong start and finish to your essay. This effectively frames your argument and makes your stance very clear.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point that supports your thesis. This makes your argument easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
You have provided clear and comprehensive ideas, making your stance on the benefits of dual-income families evident. Your argument is coherent and well-developed, which demonstrates a high level of critical thinking.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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