IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Online education is rapidly increasing in popularity. What has led to this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of online learning compared to in-class instructions?

#education #popularity #development #in-class #instructions
In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 period, studying in
online
Correct article usage
an online
show examples
 format has become an increasing trend among
students
.
This
 phenomenon occurs
due to
 the advancement of technology.
This
 essay will discuss both positive and negative aspects of it and provide a logical conclusion. On the one hand, the most frequently cited rationale for
supportig
Correct your spelling
supporting
 the method of online study is that it is convenient for both
students
 and teachers.
Firstly
,
instead
 of stepping out of their
comfortzone
Correct your spelling
comfort zone
 and going anywhere,
students
 can stay home and join the lesson via their devices.
Moreover
,
such
approach
Correct article usage
an approach
show examples
 helps them to master information better,
thus
 increasing their academic performance. Having internet-based schooling might
also
 decrease monthly expenses on education.
As a result
,
creating
Wrong verb form
this creates
show examples
 a chance to save money or spend
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 on other
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
.
On the other hand
, excessive screen time might have a variety of detrimental effects on children`s well-being. Spending a lot of time on electronic devices means a decrease in physical movements, which leads to a sedentary lifestyle.
As a result
, adolescents may suffer from
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases
 associated with excess weight
such
 as obesity.
Furthermore
, deprived of social communication,
students
 can be launched on a path of anti-social behaviour.
Then
, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 they might become extremely self-conscious and
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
overly sensitive.
To conclude
, nowadays online education
gains
Wrong verb form
is gaining
show examples
 popularity
aroud
Correct your spelling
around
 the world.
Although
 there are some perks
such
 as comfort and cheaper studying,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
 outweigh
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
.
Submitted by chtpstmy42 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, but it could be slightly elaborated to provide a more thorough overview of the topic.
supported main points
Your main points are logical and well-supported, but providing more specific examples would strengthen your arguments.
conclusion
The conclusion is clear and summarizes the essay effectively. However, reiterating the main points a bit more would make it stronger.
structure
The structure of your essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
balanced view
You have effectively discussed both advantages and disadvantages of online learning, showing a balanced view.
vocabulary
The language used is appropriate and there is a good range of vocabulary.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual learning environment
  • asynchronous/synchronous learning
  • e-learning
  • digital literacy
  • MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses)
  • webinar
  • interactive content
  • distance education
  • course management system
  • learning management system (LMS)
  • cyberlearning
  • pedagogy
  • screen fatigue
  • digital divide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: