IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

A museum near your home is looking for people to do unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntery work at the museum. write a letter to the museum director to apply for the volunteer work in your letter explain why ou want to do voluntary work at the museum describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful give details of when you would be available for work

#museum #home #people #work #voluntery #director #volunteer #ou #skills #qualities
Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
 email finds you well, I am writing
this
 letter regarding the voluntary
work
 at the museum. I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
heard about
this
 great opportunity two days ago from a friend of mine. I really hope that you are still looking for
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
participants. I am a fresh graduate student from
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
, and I have a huge free time that I can invest
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 something
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
.
Therefore
, I am eager to
work
 at the museum as
'
Correct article usage
an 'orgnisitional'
show examples
orgnisitional
Correct your spelling
organisational
'. I can
work
 in organising the visitors in
effective
Change the article
an effective
show examples
 manner. I am sure that my great skills in
organisition
Correct your spelling
organisation
, leadership,
Correct word choice
and mangemengt
show examples
mangemengt
Correct your spelling
management
, would be helpful in being very
quilfied
Correct your spelling
qualified
 for
this
 application.As well, I have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prior experience since
university
Correct pronoun usage
my university
show examples
 days in working as
"
Correct article usage
an " orgnisitional"
show examples
orgnisitional
Correct your spelling
organisational
". I am
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
 to
work
 from
3p.m
Correct your spelling
3 p.m
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 10 p.m except
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 weekend days. looking to hear from you, Thank you for considering my
applicition
Correct your spelling
application
. NOUF MUT.
Regrds
Correct your spelling
Regards
,
Submitted by noufxmut on

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task achievement
Proofread your work to correct spelling mistakes (e.g., 'benefical' should be 'beneficial', 'quilfied' should be 'qualified', etc.).
task achievement
Be clear and specific about the volunteer role you are interested in; 'organisitional' is not a defined term.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs for better flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use appropriate paragraphing to separate different ideas clearly.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a more formal conclusion, such as 'Yours sincerely,' or 'Best regards,' followed by your full name.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and professionally appropriate for a job application.
task achievement
The letter contains all the necessary information: why you want to volunteer, your skills, and your availability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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