Nowadays, there is a trend of people being able to get copyrighted products of books and music easily from the Internet. Do the advantage outweigh disadvantage?
In
this
day and age, people
can access copyrighted books or soundtracks via technological advancements at no cost. This
writer asserts that even though people
will benefit from this
advancement in terms of accessibility, the drawback of revenue loss for creators
coupled with
security risks outweigh
the upside.
One significant concern is the financial loss that Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
creators
face when copyrighted books and music are freely accessible online. Explicitly, producers invest considerable time and efforts
in order to deliver high-quality products, Fix the agreement mistake
effort
while
also
viewing it as a potential source of profit. Moreover
, by
obtaining copyrighted Change preposition
apply
materials
without authorization, this
can deprive authors of their rightful income and recognition. Thereby, Correct pronoun usage
apply
creators
become discouraged to publish
new content because of a lack of resources to sustain their work and improve their living standards.
Focusing on how Change preposition
from publishing
this
trend can pose significant security threats. In essence, cybercriminals tend to exploit the Internet by creating counterfeit websites that mimic illegitimate sources of copyrighted content. Whereby, when individuals visit these dubious sources, they unwittingly expose their personal information or financial details to malicious actors. Thus
, people
will turn into victims of identity theft or scams which can severely disrupt their daily lives.
Conversely
, ,
some argue that modern technology makes copyrighted Change the punctuation
apply
materials
more affordable to everyone.Specifically,it becomes easy for people
to freely browse into
these copyrighted Change preposition
apply
materials
regardless of financial background. While
this
may be true but
accessing copyrighted Correct word choice
apply
materials
without proper authorization is limited and illegal in which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
may be predisposed to severe legal repercussions, including substantial fines and penalties for copyright infringement.Therefore
, despite the perceived accessibility benefits, the legal and ethical implications make unauthorized access to copyrighted materials
problematic.
In conclusion, the ease of accessing copyrighted books and music online undoubtedly enhances accessibility. However
, it is outweighed by the negative impacts on creators
' financial well-being associated individual
privacy.Change preposition
with individual
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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother. Try using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of accessing copyrighted materials online. However, a few more specific examples would strengthen your point further. For instance, mentioning specific cases of artists or authors affected by piracy could make your argument more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting your ideas logically and effectively.
task achievement
You discuss both the advantages and disadvantages thoroughly, showing a balanced view on the topic. This indicates a complete response to the task.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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