You have seen an advertisement in an Australia magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter -explain why you would like the job Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

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Hello, dear sir/madam. I'm writing to you with the purpose of checking the status of the babysitter which you are looking for. I have seen the ad in some Australian magazine, and I realised that it may be my best chance to see your beautiful country. Let me, please, introduce myself. My name is Anastassia, 25 years old. I graduated from the university

this

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year with a degree in social work. I want to have a gap year between a study and a job.

Moreover

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, right now I'm looking for some opportunity for it.

Furthermore

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, I have like 2 years of experience with toddlers, I worked a part-time job in the kindergarten during my studies. I like children, and I believe that I have many skills for

this

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work.

Secondly

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, I have dreamed of seeing Australia since my childhood. I think it's a very beautiful place, as well with amazing flora and fauna. In conclusion, if

this

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offer is still valid, let me know, please. Best regards, Anastassia.

anastasiaWed Aug 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider structuring your paragraphs more clearly, ensuring each one discusses a single idea. This will improve the flow and coherence of your letter.

task achievement

Check for minor grammar and phrasing issues, such as 'I have like 2 years,' which could be refined to 'I have about 2 years.' This will enhance the overall professional tone of the letter.

greeting and closing

The greeting and closing are polite and professional, which is very important in a formal letter.

task achievement

You provided detailed information about your qualifications and experience, which is essential for addressing the task prompt thoroughly.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

168 words

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The Greeting

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