Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
The government has spent too much on the
education
of students Use synonyms
while
it is argued that more government cash should be used for the purpose of organizing social Linking Words
activities
Use synonyms
as well as
extracurricular courses. Linking Words
This
essay will argue that it is better to involve extracurricular Linking Words
activities
in school for young people rather than only concentrate on Use synonyms
education
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, using money on Linking Words
education
for children is important but anything too much is not good and Use synonyms
education
is the same. Studying too much can cause stress and lead to a decline in mental Use synonyms
health
and Use synonyms
also
affect the development of the ability to think and learn of young people. Linking Words
As a consequence
, the young Linking Words
also
lack social skills and physical Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
also
be affected, students will become weaker and Linking Words
also
depend on their families.
Another key component is that having rest during a long study period can bring several benefits for the young. More likely, Linking Words
increase
both their mental Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
health
and physical Use synonyms
health
, release stress and avoid having mental problems like depression or autism. Use synonyms
Additionally
, playing many sports and involving in many Linking Words
activities
can Use synonyms
also
help children develop intellectual and Linking Words
as a result
these learners can study better after these events. Participating in many Linking Words
activities
can Use synonyms
also
help increase the young’s soft skills like improving their ability to tackle problems, communication skills and abilities to work in a team.
Linking Words
Thus
, it can be seen that organizing free time Linking Words
activities
for young learners can bring many advantages over only using money on Use synonyms
education
and the results these Use synonyms
activities
bring afterwards are even better than people can predict.Use synonyms
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task achievement
In your task response, ensure that you expand on your main points with more detailed and relevant examples. This will strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your use of cohesion is generally good, but make sure that the transitions between ideas and paragraphs are smooth and clear. This can often be achieved by using linking words or phrases properly.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument and stays on topic throughout, which is a strong point in task response.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present, which helps to frame the essay well. This is beneficial for overall coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.