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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some societies, it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventative medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

#societies #health #fitness #sports #diets #medicine #alternative #people #life
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Nowadays, many people think that they should live a normal
life
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 rather than trying to do more exercise or eating healthy food to stay in shape and have good fitness. I partly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and here are the reasons why:
Firstly
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, not everyone can have a natural appealing
body
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: Some people can have perfect
body
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 contour, some are not. So if they don’t have a flawless
body
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, and still live a normal
life
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 with no true exercise, I believe they can’t stay fit and have a healthy
life
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.
Secondly
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, because the nature of the majority of work in the
life
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 of modern society that requires people to trade off their health to get work efficiency,
for example
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, in multinational corporations, employees sometimes have to work overnight to exchange information with branches at different times zones, so the use of supplements to provide more nutrients that the
body
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 lacks because there is no time to rest will partly help maintain a stable health condition With all mentioned above, I am convinced that trying to achieve good health through sports or doing a diet can be more effective than live a normal lifestyle.
Submitted by sejal.h on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, try to provide more specific examples and evidence to substantiate your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by ensuring that your ideas flow more logically from one to the next. Using transition words or phrases can help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Consider elaborating more on the counterargument. Addressing opposing views in a balanced manner can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You've covered some relevant points concerning the necessity of exercise and diet in modern life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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