IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the average time spent by four car manufacturers to produce vehicles at their US factories.

The graph below shows the average time spent by four car manufacturers to produce vehicles at their US factories.
#time #four #car #manufacturers #vehicles #factories
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The line graph illustrates the medium
time
Use synonyms
 for four constructors to make their vehicles in America from 1998 to 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a similar downward trend in all average
time
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 to erect automobiles in the USA over the given
period
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. A more
detail
Replace the word
detailed
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 look at the graph clearly shows that the General Motor factory spent the most
hours
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 in each
car
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, which was merely 32
hours
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,
then
Linking Words
 it decreased significantly by 7
hours
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 in the next 4 years before a less
remarkably
Change the word
remarkable
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 decrease to exactly 24
hours
Use synonyms
 between 2002 and 2004. In the
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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last
Linking Words
 year of the given
period
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, the process took 2
hours
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 less than the previous year and stood at 22
hours
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 long.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the first three years
period
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, the
time
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 spent on cars of the Ford increased substantially from 28
hours
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 to approximately 31
hours
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but later decreased sharply to 26
hours
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 before a deeper dive of 4
hours
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the given
period
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 increase of an hour in the
time
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 that Toyota needed to produce a
car
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 in 1999, which led to a
minimally
Change the word
minimal
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 fall to 22
hours
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 in 2001. After that, it noticeably went up to accurately a day per vehicle in 2002,
then
Linking Words
 it suddenly dropped to 20
hours
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 per
car
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 in 2005.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the average
time
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 for Honda
Wrong verb form
to produce
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producing
Change the verb form
to produce
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 a
car
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 hit a rock bottom at 20
hours
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 in 1999
then
Linking Words
 continued its upward trend more significantly to 24
hours
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 in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2003. Later it dove deeply to 20
hours
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the given
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, period, hours, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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