In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that in certain nations youth are not using their right to
vote
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
would hinder the political
change
Use synonyms
, and it would
also
Linking Words
result in policies made that are not beneficial for these young people. The most viable solutions would be to create awareness among the younger generation and promote them to participate in politics. Not participating in elections would mean that it would be difficult to
change
Use synonyms
the government which is necessary for some countries across the globe.
This
Linking Words
is because, in any functional democracy, the only way to
change
Use synonyms
the ruling party is by casting votes in the electoral process.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if young individuals forge their right to
vote
Use synonyms
, it would result in policies made that do not benefit them.
As a result
Linking Words
, they would feel that the state is not addressing their concerns and end up leaving the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, every year thousands of young adults from developing countries immigrate to Europe and North America because they are unhappy with their government’s performance. One way to tackle these issues is to inform these people about the power of
Use synonyms
vote
Add an article
the vote
show examples
. Campaigns should be held in universities, and colleges to educate youth about their political rights. Another solution is to
promote
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
these young people to come into politics. Doing
this
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would ensure their representation and their voices being heard.
For example
Linking Words
, Nelson Mandela was a young political activist who successfully fought against racism and became the first black President of South Africa. In conclusion, neglecting to
vote
Use synonyms
by the young generation would delay the necessary government
change
Use synonyms
, and laws made that are not in their
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, encouraging youth participation in politics and awareness campaigns can be
possible
Correct article usage
a possible
show examples
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
to tackle these problems.
Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both problems and solutions related to young people neglecting their right to vote. However, you can improve the task response by elaborating more on how the solutions can be implemented and their potential impact.
coherence cohesion
While your points are generally clear, organizing them into distinct paragraphs for each problem and each solution can improve the logical structure. Additionally, more use of transition words could enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and data to support your main points. This would make your argument more compelling and well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and is connected logically to the other parts of the essay. This would make the essay flow better.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points of the discussion. This helps in framing the essay well.
supported main points
You have supported your main points with relevant examples, such as the instance of young adults emigrating from developing countries and the example of Nelson Mandela.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: