IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #jobs #robots
It is often argued that since the advancement in technology has been increasing, all the jobs which require human efforts will be replaced by artificially intelligent
robots
. I completely disagree with the notion as it would be nearly impossible to perform certain tasks which require human presence and emotional intelligence. Conspicuously, it is nearly impossible to replace people with
robots
 in some crucial professions for our society
such
 as doctors and police. Developing
robots
 for monotonous tasks is totally different from curing a disease or performing surgery on a living being. Artificial intelligence could improve the process but to treat the patients with certain physical, psychological and mental diseases cure under experienced doctors only.
Similarly
, for safety and security reasons in day-to-day life, it would be hard to replace police officers to arrest thieves and criminals.
Furthermore
, there is no way machinery
robots
 would give love and human comfort. For any person, their childhood is a golden period where they learn about moral values, to express their feelings and gratitude which are only done by their parents and teachers. These
robots
 could ease the process of nurturing and education but it is not possible to take over the responsibilities of teachers and guardians. In conclusion, as per the aforementioned points, I completely deny the idea that artificial intelligent
robots
 will take over the responsibilities where human presence and emotional intelligence are mandatory.
Submitted by rushsoni1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure that each main point you present is followed by specific examples or further explanation to support your argument. This will strengthen your essay and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, work on transitions between your ideas and make the logical connection between paragraphs even clearer. Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
Language
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. More complex language use can not only demonstrate your language skills but also add clarity and precision to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: