Some people believe that the salaries paid to professional sportspeople are too high while others argue that sports salaries are fair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is considerable debate about whether the disparity in income between
sports
Use synonyms
athletes
Use synonyms
and other professions is fair or not. I firmly believe that the higher incomes of sportspeople are deserved. It is admitted that
sports
Use synonyms
careers are typically short and come with a high risk of injury.
Although
Linking Words
many
athletes
Use synonyms
sacrifice their efforts and determination to achieve their desirable goals for years, only a minority of them could achieve international awards, the public's validation and hard-to-break global records.
For example
Linking Words
, despite players’ dedication to maintaining rigorous training regimes and strict diets, the efficiency of these actions to
last
Linking Words
their heyday is negligible, so the salaries and bonuses of professional players must be worth their efforts.
Additionally
Linking Words
, professional
sports
Use synonyms
generate substantial revenue through ticket sales, broadcasting rights, sponsorships, and merchandise.
Athletes
Use synonyms
are integral to
this
Linking Words
ecosystem and their earnings reflect the industry's profitability.
For instance
Linking Words
, companies could advertise their products by signing advertisement contracts with successful
athletes
Use synonyms
, who receive much attention from the public.
Hence
Linking Words
, the higher incomes of a few
athletes
Use synonyms
are deserved because they attracted the number of new customer base and generated a significant amount of revenue through their influence.
However
Linking Words
, opponents believe the enormous salaries of
sports
Use synonyms
stars contribute to economic inequality, particularly when compared to essential workers, including teachers, nurses, and emergency responders, who often earn a fraction of what sportspeople make. A star footballer might earn millions annually,
whereas
Linking Words
a teacher, who plays a crucial role in society, might struggle to make ends meet.
Consequently
Linking Words
, an overemphasis on athletic careers over academic achievements, believing that
sports
Use synonyms
are the only route to success, leading to the shortage of workforce in other indispensable jobs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the vast sums paid to
athletes
Use synonyms
could be better used to support broader societal needs,
such
Linking Words
as healthcare, education, and infrastructure.
In particular
Linking Words
, funds from high earnings could be redirected to community
sports
Use synonyms
programs, promoting health and fitness at a grassroots level.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
the high salaries of professional sportspeople may seem disproportionate when compared to essential workers, they are justified by the significant revenue they generate and the unique challenges of their careers.
Athletes
Use synonyms
' earnings reflect the profitability of the
sports
Use synonyms
industry and the high level of talent and dedication required to succeed at the top.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is crucial to address the broader issue of economic inequality and ensure that other essential professions are adequately valued and compensated. Balancing the financial rewards in
sports
Use synonyms
with investments in societal needs could lead to a more equitable and sustainable economic landscape.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay is well-structured and your arguments are clear, consider providing a bit more balance in your discussion. For example, you could delve a little deeper into the counterarguments for fairness in sports salaries before concluding why higher salaries are justified.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical flow, but occasional sentences could be streamlined for improved readability. For instance, the sentence detailing how advertising contracts help generate new customer bases could be split for clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction immediately outlines your stance, providing a clear direction for your essay, which is very effective.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion succinctly reiterates your main points and brings the discussion full circle, which is very important in essay writing.
relevant specific examples
You provide specific examples to substantiate your arguments, such as the role of athletes in attracting revenue through sponsorships, which greatly enhances the credibility of your discussion.
logical structure
Each paragraph explores a single idea in a detailed manner before moving to the next, ensuring the essay is easy to follow.
logical structure
Your transitions between points are smooth, aiding the reader in following your argument seamlessly.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: