To succeed in a business, one needs to be good at maths. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, it has been commonly believed that the better at
mathematics
at school, the more success in business
people
can achieve. The writer contends that being good at math helps
people
more in the financial sector because of fundamental
knowledge
in business and gifted intelligence.
Initially
, it is crucial to understand that
knowledge
about
mathematics
may provide
people
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
ability to deal with many struggles in the economic field. To explain in more detail, challenging problems associated with finance contain many statistics that need 
people
to analyze. To a certain extent, it requires individuals who possess professional skills in
mathematics
to understand these huge numbers so as to make a prediction about the future campaigns of companies.
For
this
reason, these entrepreneurs will make a wise decision for their companies to make a big profit,
thus
, becoming successful businessmen.  
Additionally
, becoming a professional in the mathematical field is evidence that these
people
have greater cognitive skills.
Due to
the fact that economic
knowledge
necessitates these skills including logical thinking and intelligence from
people
to operate and implement in a realistic market.
Therefore
, on
condition
Correct article usage
the condition
show examples
that
people
are good at math, they will be able to use their potential to understand information related to the economy extensively and
then
create more campaigns to gain more success. In conclusion, the writer emphasizes that one who specializes in math becomes more successful in business
due to
foundation
knowledge
in data analysis and talents.
Hence
, it has been shown that
people
should pay more attention to
mathematics
if they want to be a successful entrepreneur.
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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the question and provides a clear argument for why being good at mathematics can lead to success in business. However, the examples could be more specific to illustrate your points better. For instance, mentioning a particular scenario or attributing success to well-known businessmen with strong mathematical backgrounds could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To further improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using more transitional phrases could help in this regard.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it, setting the stage for the argument that follows.
logical structure
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, making it easy to follow your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your key points and reinforces your position.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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