Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!
Whether children should learn
art
in school or not is a topic that is
often debated. From the writer's perspective, it is beneficial for students to study art
as it improves creativity as well as
patience, despite those who think that it takes away valuable time
.
It must be acknowledged that learning how to draw and create paintings can help a child generate new ideas. In other words
, a drawing usually has a unique value to it, in order to achieve this
, an artist has to come up with new thoughts and create it
in their own ways, the same applies Correct pronoun usage
them
for
children, the more they paint and draw, the more creative their minds will be. Change preposition
to
As a result
, with just some simple paintings, their brains become rich in ideas, widening the gate to success.
However
, some people see this
subject as an inefficient way of spending time
. This
is because they believe that dedicating time
for
other subjects Change preposition
to
such
as maths and english
will provide the young with a bright future since they are more relevant to life. Change the capitalization
English
This
may be true but while
they study math and other subjects, they can incoporate
Correct your spelling
incorporate
art
to make their lives more colorful
and meaningful, which Change the spelling
colourful
also
reduces stress when they do it daily as a hobby.
In my opinion, besides
making the youth a lot more creative, by doing art
, they can become more patient. Simply put, almost everything that involves the conflation of the mind and other body parts needs an abundant amount of time
, that includes producing artistic products. Additionally
, when youngsters try to create a painting or drawing, this
activity requires patience , without this
quality a perfect product cannot be made. Therefore
, learning about how to do art
gives children a more mature way of solving a problem.
In conclusion, by teaching art
to pupils in schools, they will receive countless benefits that can be hard to achieve, including the ability to think of new ideas and being able to devote to
something without feeling like wasting Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
time
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task and discusses both sides effectively. However, the examples and explanations could be more specific and detailed to strengthen your arguments. For instance, providing specific instances or case studies where studying art has helped in developing creativity or patience would add more weight to your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure overall, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, there are some areas where the connections between ideas could be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph transitions naturally to the next. Connecting concluding sentences of one paragraph with the topic sentence of the next can enhance flow.
task achievement
You've addressed the task comprehensively by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear opinion. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the question.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, giving a clear overview of what the essay will discuss and summarizing the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with distinct paragraphs that address specific points, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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