There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students
nowadays are under pressure to achieve academic success in order to get into a well-reputable university or secure a well-paid job. For
this
reason, some people argue that schools need to focus on teaching academic subjects
and non-academic subjects
should therefore
not be taught. However
, I disagree with the statement. I would argue that although
academic skills are important, skill-based subjects
should not be removed from the school
syllabus.
Firstly
, schools should teach students
not only academic subjects
but also
a wider range of life skills that can be taken from non-academic subjects
so that they can take an active part in society upon leaving school
. Practical subjects
can help to teach these skills to students
. For example
, physical education teaches them how to work in a team and also
the importance of being healthy. Furthermore
, if cookery is taught, students
will learn a great deal about nutrition and health.
The second reason why non-academic subjects
should not be removed is due to
the fact that academic subjects
are not equally important for all students
. There is a possibility for the students
to increase their employment prospects and get a better place to secure employment when leaving school
if they learn more vocational non-academic subjects
like textile design and IT. Because not all students
will continue to higher education, schools need to enable these students
to find work.
Finally
, too much pressure should not be placed on the students
. Taking part in non-academic subjects
, such
as art, music, or drama will give students
the opportunity to be creative. This
could help them to manage stress levels and be more productive in other areas.
In conclusion, I would argue that teaching academic subjects
should not be the sole focus of a school
syllabus, although
the subjects
are very important. There are a number of benefits to teaching students
non-academic subjects
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While you mention physical education and cookery, additional examples could make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are consistently supported throughout the essay. Some points could be elaborated for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of sentence structure and variety. This will help in maintaining the readers' interest and enhancing comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which help encapsulate the arguments effectively.
logical structure
Your main points are logically structured and easy to follow, contributing to the overall flow of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.