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Band 5

The charts below give information about the price of tickets on one airline between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, over a two-week period in 2013.

The charts below give information about the price of tickets on one airline between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, over a two-week period in 2013.
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Contained in the bar charts is information pertaining to the
price
Use synonyms
 of airline tickets from
Sydney
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 and
Melbourne
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 and vice versa over
two
Use synonyms
 weeks in 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
price
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 of tickets for the flights between
two
Use synonyms
 cities wịtnessed a fluctuation before ultimately decreasing to the same figures by the end of the timeframe.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
price
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 of tickets from
Sydney
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 to
Melbourne
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 experienced the most significant changes during the period. Looking at the cost of an
airplane
Change the spelling
aeroplane
show examples
 ticket between
Sydney
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 and
Melbourne
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 in
further
Linking Words
 detail, the
price
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 on Monday of the first
week
Use synonyms
 stood at $80 and
subsequently
Linking Words
 declined to exactly $40 on
Tuesday
Use synonyms
. On the following
two
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 days, the figure was recorded at approximately $70 before dropping to $50 and remaining steady until the first day of
week
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two
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. Between
Tuesday
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 and Thursday of
week
Use synonyms
two
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, the
price
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 fluctuated slightly, ranging from nearly $35 to $40. The
price
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then
Linking Words
 increased sharply to around $80 before decreasing again to $50 on Sunday. Turning to the remaining chart, which indicated the flight from
Melbourne
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 to
Sydney
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, the cost began at $60
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was $20 lower than the reverse flight.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the data
also
Linking Words
 decreased on
Tuesday
Use synonyms
 and remained steady until Thursday at approximately $35.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
price
Use synonyms
 jumped to $80 before experiencing a constant decline to
identical
Correct article usage
an identical
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 at $35 on
Tuesday
Use synonyms
 of the second
week
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, where it remained unchanged until Thursday.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
price
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 of an airplane ticket rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
again to $50
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "subsequently".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words price, sydney, melbourne, two, week, tuesday with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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