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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work and other aspects of their life, however only few acheive it. What are the problems in doing this and what solutions can you suggest?

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Recently, the term
work
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-
life
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 balance has gained popularity among
people
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 in the productive ages as many of them want to keep that principle in
life
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.
However
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, just a few of them successfully implement that behaviour. In
this
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 essay, I will explain several causes and provide solutions. Balancing between
work
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 and other aspects of
life
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 is hard to achieve because of the small energy that remains in their soul after facing a bunch of projects, documents, meetings, etc.
This
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 means that
work
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 takes up the time in the daily
life
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.
For example
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,
people
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 often
work
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 overtime until more than 10
hours
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 per day, starting from morning to late night.
As a result
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, after
work
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hours
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, they tend to become super tired and do not have any willingness to do anything,
such
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 as exercise or hang out with friends.
Furthermore
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, they still have to do the home chores at the weekend or visit their relatives which makes them exhausted. Not only being physically drained,
work
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also
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 could affect their emotional state. As an impact,
people
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 become more stressed and do not want to leave home because they feel worn out. Actions that could be taken are starting to build small movements that will later on become a healthy habit. The action does not mean it is only related to sports but
also
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 the activity that they want to keep in
life
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.
Firstly
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, they can do a quick exercise at home
such
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 as a workout, yoga, or gym before
work
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 to stretch their muscle and maintain their body wellness.
Secondly
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, spend 30 to 60 minutes just to have a coffee with your colleagues after
work
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 to relieve your stress.
Thirdly
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, try to be productive at
work
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 and improve your
work
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 discipline so you do not need to open the laptop after working
hours
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.
This
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 will have a good impact on your mental and body health if you do it regularly, resulting in a
work
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-
life
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 balance in the near future. In conclusion, the energy left after working for
hours
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, sometimes more than expected will hugely affect the person's emotional condition, which drives into laziness and lack of balance in other aspects of
life
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.
Besides
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,
people
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 could start building a good routine with small actions. As time goes by,
this
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 will increase the body's fitness and mental health.

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Vocabulary
To achieve a higher score, try to use a more varied vocabulary and avoid repetition. Although the ideas are clear, using a richer set of synonyms and expressions will enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Detailing
Provide more detailed examples to support your points. Concrete examples can provide evidence for your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
Sentence structure
Ensure all sentences flow smoothly from one to the next. Although the essay is well-organized, varying sentence structure and using more linking words can improve the cohesion.
Structure
The essay has a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
Organization
The ideas presented are coherent and well-organized, making the essay easy to follow.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work
  • after-hours communication
  • disconnect
  • wellness initiatives
  • mental health days
  • time management
  • prioritization
  • high cost of living
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