In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations

In industrial

countries

, average longevity is rising, resulting in some negative impacts on citizens and councils.

This

essay will discuss the disadvantages of

this

matter

as well as

some ways to tackle them.

To begin

with, there are several negative downsides to

this

matter.

Firstly

, a greater tax burden for working adults will be attributed to an

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population. More and more people reach retirement age, which allows them to receive a pension.

This

subsidy does not require paying tax, thereby placing tax pressure on adults to maintain the development of a country.

Additionally

, the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population will see a rise in healthcare demand, which is completely free for the elderly in some

countries

. The budget spent on

this

area will be a burden for governments.

However

, there are various actions that governments could take to tackle the above problems. First of all, an increase in the retirement age will be necessary. The authorities had better increase the working age up to 65 for females and 70 for males

due to

the superior living standards these days, which help the elderly still work more productively.

Secondly

, policymakers ought to consider migration incentives. These encouragements are partly increasing the number of adolescents who pay taxes. Australia and Germany are two good examples of

this

issue, as more and more people are going to migrate to these

countries

to reside and work.

Finally

, national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent on medical care. In conclusion, taxes and healthcare are two significant problems of the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

process among people in well-off

countries

however

, there are some methods to address them.

Submitted by hongmien.n on Thu Jun 06 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic well with clear and comprehensive responses. However, it could benefit from stronger connections between ideas and more elaboration on certain points. For example, explain further how increasing the retirement age helps in mitigating the impact of an ageing population.

coherence cohesion

Work on further improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Consider adding more transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, and your conclusion clearly summarizes the main points, which enhances overall readability.

supported main points

You provide relevant examples that support your arguments well, such as references to Australia and Germany regarding migration incentives.

complete response

You address both the problems and potential solutions comprehensively, showing a good understanding of the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

average life expectancy
developed world
increase
individuals
society
personal goals
ambitions
quality of life
leisure
recreation
healthcare costs
challenges
healthcare system
ageing population
shortage
available workers
economy
retirement planning
healthy lifestyles
investing
social support systems

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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

Some people believe that family is more important than friends. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Topic: In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. the only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?