The key to solving environmental problems is simple: the present generation is to accept a less comfortable life for the sake of the future generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Environmental damage
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some adverse impacts on the
sustainbilities
Correct your spelling
sustainability
of
indiviudals'
Correct your spelling
individuals'
lives.
Although
receiving a lower standard of living may impose some benefits for
this
trouble, I do not agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that it is the main viable measurement. To commence, controlling
human's
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human
show examples
uneco-friendly
Correct your spelling
unco-friendly
Unesco-friendly
UNESCO-friendly
behaviours which are unnecessary
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
a workable method to figure out the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environmental
pollution. In the first place,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
forbidding some unreasonable consumption can save a lot of energy.
For example
, some individuals are prone to use the air-conditioner all day to provide a more comfortable atmosphere, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
are not at home.
Therefore
, reducing the frequency
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
air-conditioner
Fix the agreement mistake
air-conditioners
show examples
may decrease the satisfaction of dwellers slightly, but more beneficial to the whole
environment
. Meanwhile, some people
exploring
Wrong verb form
explore
show examples
materials
without considering long-term effects, which
outght
Correct your spelling
ought
to be controlled in a certain range.
Entreprenures
Correct your spelling
Entrepreneurs
tend to maximise their profit and exploit the whole resources
such
as oil,
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
show examples
and gas at once, which results in energy drain in the future.
Thus
the level of using those
unsustainble
Correct your spelling
unsustainable
materials
should be under
supervisation
Correct your spelling
supervision
, even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
may lead
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
price
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
rise
Add the particle
to rise
show examples
up
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apply
show examples
.
By contrast
, I hold the view that there are more ways to tackle
this
problem than
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricting
show examples
individuals' behaviours.
First,
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
concerning
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
producing renewable
materials
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
able to fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
environmental damage without affecting the life quality of people. Some
materials
like biodegradable plastic
straw
Fix the agreement mistake
straws
show examples
we
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
now
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
actually less harmful to the
environment
, which means tapping into more innovation in producing new
materials
is able to handle the troubles.
Second,
it is more significant to protect the
environment
by educating people to form a habit of saving energy.
This
is because
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
many citizens do not realize their
over consumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
show examples
could be harmful to the
environment
, and these actions are supposed to be limited. In conclusion, giving up some current rights for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations might be beneficial to the
environment
, but the creation
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
materials
and education
are seemed
Wrong verb form
seems
show examples
more reasonable.
Submitted by 1356388645 on

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coherence
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs with distinct main ideas for each one.
coherence
Ensure that each of your main points is fully supported with specific examples and details.
task achievement
Some sentences have grammatical errors that affect clarity. Consider revising the essay to correct these issues.
coherence
Work on making transitions between ideas and paragraphs smoother to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence
The essay sometimes reads awkwardly due to incorrect word usage and sentence structure. Revising for naturalness could help.
task achievement
Ensure every part of your argument directly addresses the topic and question posed, with specific and relevant examples.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are present and summarize your stance well.
task achievement
You have presented a variety of ideas to support your argument.
task achievement
Efforts to provide specific examples, such as the use of air-conditioners and biodegradable plastics, enhance your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable living
  • excessive consumption
  • environmental degradation
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable farming
  • waste management
  • policy changes
  • global cooperation
  • balanced approach
  • sacrifice
  • awareness
  • sustainability
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