IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Student should pay the full cost for their study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. do you agree or disagree?

#student #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
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It is true that higher university education brings about benefits for individuals.
However
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, I disagree with the assertion that students should pay the full cost for their studies because
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society's advantages stem from having an educated population. It is undoubted that education provides students with numerous
such
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 as knowledge, skills and future careers. In spite of that, thanks to educated people, the rates of crimes and social evils are reduced. Individuals who are educated are less likely to engage in criminal activities, leading to safer communities. A good example of
this
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 is that adolescents who are uneducated often gather with friends every
days
Change to a singular noun
day
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 and indulge in dissipation. Another evidence is the well-educated workforce drives more innovations and productivity that contribute to the economic growth.
Additionally
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, skilled employees can help develop the technological advancements and
overall
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 property. In summary, students can benefit from a university education, but they can bring about a lot of advantages
such
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 as economic development and a better society

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear stance, but it could benefit from more developed arguments. Consider expanding your points and providing more detailed examples to strengthen your case.
coherence cohesion
Your transitions between ideas are good, but the logical flow can be improved. Make sure each paragraph connects smoothly to the next, and consider breaking down complex ideas into simpler sentences for better readability.
task achievement
Ensure every main idea is thoroughly supported with relevant details or examples. This will make your points more convincing and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your essay good structure.
task achievement
You effectively argue against the assertion with several valid points, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples and ideas that support your main arguments, contributing to a clearer and more comprehensive response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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