Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

#topic #parents #children #toys #play\

Some

parents

are purchasing a large number of playthings for their kids. In

this

essay, I will discuss the positive and negative sides of providing many

toys

for

children

. On the one hand,

toys

are necessary for a

child

,especially at

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young age. It helps to improve their touch sensation and

cogintive

Correct your spelling

cognitive

functions. Some kinds of

toys

help in exploring and developing hobbies

such

as drawing and painting.

Furthermore

, some games improve communication skills

as well as

video games.

For example

, coloured cubes may help a

child

to hold and arrange the cube in the right way.

On the other hand

parents

must know the needs of their

children

and which plaything they prefer. Because the presence of many

toys

may distract them and within time it will become useless, so

parents

must realize their

children

's needs

as well as

provide

toys

that are suitable to their age and their level of awareness and thinking.

In addition

, the existence of multiple

toys

can change a

child

's behaviour and reduce his social communication with others.

However

, it's important to let our

children

participate in activities that depend on movement , physical contact and sharing with others to encourage their communication skills.

For instance

, playing football with other kids or swimming is more beneficial for young

children

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than

toys

. In conclusion,

parents

are responsible for affording anything for their

children

, they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

play a major role in their lives. So they are responsible for choosing a good toy

that is

suitable for their

child

's age and must understand once their

child

becomes older

this

toy will become useless over time.

Toys

are crucial in improving focusing , learning and sensation

as well as

filling their leisure time.

Submitted by afnan.sa1992 on Thu Jun 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure a more balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages, giving equal weight to both sides.

task response

Add more clear and detailed examples to support the main points discussed. This will make your arguments more persuasive and concrete.

coherence and cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Use more transition words to connect your ideas smoothly.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical errors and ensure smooth sentence structures to improve overall readability.

task response

You have presented both advantages and disadvantages in a well-organized manner, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear entry point and summary of your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

enhanced creativity
motor skill development
educational benefits
social skills
overstimulation
cognitive abilities
fine motor skills
gross motor skills
sharing and cooperation
shorter attention spans
lack of value
gratitude and appreciation
environmental impact
non-recyclable materials
materialistic values
sense of entitlement

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam”. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?
For the past three decades, road congestions have been growing because of the escalation of car ownership. However, I think, the term of "one big traffic jam" is too exaggerated to be applied for the whole world, yet it is true that several governments are in charge to tackle certain traffic.
5
band
Some people prefer to travel by car while others prefer to take the bicycle. Wich of these do you prefer? What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by a car and a bicycle?
Travelling is part of our life, now in our days, does not matter if we travel to work, to visit someone, or to some exotic places, we are always travelling.
7
band
Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?
It is a common belief that automation and AI have been predicted to alter people in the workplace in the future due to the reduction of costs in the company. This situation will lead to a negative impact on communication because of the gap between each person.
6.5
band
Nowadays, children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. Some people believe this has negative effects on children's mental abilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree？
Most children are addicted to playing computer games and spending time on television at present. Some believe this has adverse effects on their conceptual abilities . I am of the view that this trend will have serious consequences for children if not controlled sooner.
4
band
Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?
Pupils these days are addicted to more and more watching TV than in the past, which is their day-to-day lifestyle that is missed. It is the problem they are addicted to the use of television. In this essay, I will discuss these problems and solutions.

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now “one big traffic jam”. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?

Some people prefer to travel by car while others prefer to take the bicycle. Wich of these do you prefer? What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by a car and a bicycle?

Robots and artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

Nowadays, children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. Some people believe this has negative effects on children's mental abilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?