IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to by improted food rather than food produced locally. Why people imported food?What cpuld be done to encourage people to buy local food?

#countries #people #food #cpuld
Around the world, an increasing number of people are opting to purchase imported food
instead
 of locally produced food.
This
 is happening because globalization has made certain international
foodstuff
Fix the agreement mistake
foodstuffs
show examples
 popular and trendy
therefore
 action needs to be taken to encourage consumers to buy locally by
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 the quality of fare
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 in Vietnam and incents for individuals to
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
 get in touch with their
products
. It is vital to understand that a number of foreign countries realize that meal production is an essential item for each individual's life
consequently
 in order to develop
Correct article usage
the finance
show examples
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
show examples
 of their nations,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 concentrate on
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 certain global goods
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
 more popular and establish an attractive trend for customers. There is no doubt that each equipment
to use
Change the verb form
used
show examples
 for
produce
Replace the word
production
show examples
 or workers,
grower
Correct word choice
and grower
show examples
 are chosen thoroughly by governments and experts in order to
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
create the best quality of
products
 to bring to market
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every country in the world.
Consequently
, fruits
such
 as strawberries, apples, grapes. . . In America are enjoyed by citizens in Vietnam
due to
 the fact
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
colors
Change the noun form
color
show examples
 graduations bring customers
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
 feeling, another
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
,
that is
 sizeable with delicious tasting. To achieve these things, they devote professional plant care
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
such
 as watering,
fertilize
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and producer
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
 careful in every step of taking care of their plants previously packaging them into
products
. The best way for people to believe in local
products
 in your country is to improve the quality of cuisine to be better.
That is
 in light of the fact that the
laborer
Change the spelling
labourer
show examples
 now
abuse
Change the verb form
abuses
show examples
 the pesticide too much time
although
 it is necessary for agriculture.
Consequently
, it will harm to health of citizens when enjoying it, especially, if it can lead people to poison and extreme cancer.
Additionally
, the cultivators should restrict the pesticides in the growth of trees In conclusion,
while
 there are many reasons why customers choose to buy imported commodities, a number of measures should be adopted by local farmers to meet
this
 challenge.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You should work on ensuring that your main points are logically connected and flow smoothly from one to another. This will improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
It’s important to address all parts of the question clearly and comprehensively. Make sure to explain why people buy imported food and how to encourage the purchase of local food more thoroughly.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have identified relevant examples, like the popularity of American fruits in Vietnam, which add depth to your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: