Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
A chunk of residents claim to restrict epidemic and widespread
disease
, authorities ought to concentrate much more on mitigating surrounding contamination and household issues
. This
writer firmly agrees that alleviating environmental pollutants and housing problems can contribute to establishing non-toxic residential areas and encourage people
to obey this
method so as to raise the
self-awareness of preserving the environment.
Protecting Change the word
their
people
from illness
and disease
by minimising harmful substances or housing issues
can create a green zone for local dwellers. In other words
, this
solution is the approach of getting people
away from being affected by rabies due to
the no more gas emission or abuse in buildings, therefore
the tendency of renovating to a safe area seems to be possible. As a result
, people
are relieved that the number of diseases will a
decline and Correct article usage
apply
also
enhance the solidarity between residents to help erect the comfort zone. For instance
, the UK have
utilized a campaign to decrease toxic substances and household problems in order to form high-quality living conditions for every individual and ensure that there exists no more Change the verb form
has
illness
in the
society.
Another benefit of reducing pollution and stopping household Correct article usage
apply
issues
is developing the self-esteem of each dweller in terms of conserving environmental sites. To explain further
, as soon as people
observe the governments implementing an adequate solution to hinder individuals from illness
and disease
, there will be a trend of being a copycat and following
this
concept to maintain a sustainable environment or the problems will become more disservice, unpredictable to solve. Consequently
, many contaminated areas have intervention from not only the local authorities but also
local people
, so the influence of disease
disappears in a hurry and there is no more liberating or erecting. Taking China as a prime example, the government have set up a scheme to protect the negative environment, because of these intriguing activities, this
stimulates the Chinese to follow the methodology to analyze the core causes and figure out the route to address this
problem.
In conclusion, the work of easing pollution and housing-related issues
can create new eco-friendly sections and increase the perception of people
who recognize the severe consequences of illness
and disease
and want to address that.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task and covered the main points adequately. However, work on expressing your ideas more clearly and concisely to improve comprehension.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, some points need further support and clarity. For example, clarify how reducing environmental pollution directly results in fewer illnesses.
general
There are some inaccuracies in language and expression that slightly hinder the effectiveness of your argument. Focus on reducing grammar and lexical errors such as inappropriate word usage (e.g., 'liberating or erecting').
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the topic and provided relevant examples to support your points, showing a clear understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples from different countries to support your argument is commendable and adds depth to your essay.
Your opinion
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