Some people have the opinion that big shopping malls are expensive places as they offer high costs for the products which can be bought at much cheaper prices from local shops. On the other hand, some people think that such malls are absolutely the best places to visit for shopping. Discuss both the opinions and give your own opinion.

#people #malls #places #offer #costs #products #prices #shops #hand #visit

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Opponents of shopping

malls

argue that they are not affordable as you can find the same products for a low cost in local stores. Whilst proponents claim that if you want to have the best shopping experience you should choose shopping

malls

While

both views have their own good points, I agree with a second point of view. It is undeniable that local stores may offer the same products for a convenient price in comparison to

malls

Besides

, their products are almost the same as famous

brands

that can be found in

malls

. They are so realistic that you cannot tell the difference.

Moreover

, these shops are mainly situated in a close vicinity of our houses, so you do not have to take a long bus trip to go to the city centre.

Additionally

malls

tend to be packed with a lot of people regardless of the day of the week. Sometimes it is impossible to walk peacefully there because of the crowd.

Nevertheless

, despite the abovementioned reasons, a shopping mall is a better choice for a number of plausible reasons.

Firstly

, they offer you a wide range of

brands

in contrast

to small boutiques.

In addition

this

, not all

brands

are as pricey as it is thought to be. You can find anything from T-shirts to dresses for an affordable price.

Secondly

, people

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only go to these venues to buy something but

also

want to take advantage of various facilities like restaurants, bookstores, and game centres, to name a few. These activities are no inseparable parts of the shopping experience,

therefore

many people, including me pick

malls

despite their disadvantages. In conclusion, local shops can be more advantageous in terms of price, but shopping

malls

are preferable for high-quality

brands

and extra places where you can relax after an exhausting shopping marathon.

Submitted by Narmin on Sun Jul 28 2024

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task achievement

Your essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas that address both sides of the argument well. However, you could improve by providing more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, mentioning real brands or mall names could add to the argument’s credibility and relatability.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but the transition between points could be smoother. Try using more linking words or phrases to connect your ideas to improve the flow.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, clearly conveying your stance on the issue and summarizing the main points effectively.

task achievement

Your ideas are articulated clearly and are easy to follow, which makes your essay engaging. Your balanced discussion of both viewpoints demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both individual and society. Do you agree or disagree? give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have lost your student identification card. This has created some problems for you. Write a letter to the director of student services. In your letter advise them of your situation explain how this is affecting you request a new card

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?