Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university. Is this positive or negative development?
These days,
competition
is increasing in order to enrol in universities
. While
it has a positive side so
it is a chance to adapt to Correct word choice
apply
competitive
atmosphere in the future but Correct article usage
a competitive
this
trend can have a negative impact on people
who have never been in the
competitive environment.
On the one hand, these days, in all kinds of Correct article usage
a
universities
, competition
is increasing, so students can have a chance to get a stable job and get a promotion. The benefit of competition
is that universities
can enhance their reputation. If people
who study at the university compete with each other, then
the winner or knowledgeable student is provided with a well-paid job, which can be a reason to compete with each other. For example
, almost all companies need humans who have been in a competitive atmosphere; therefore
, in the workplace, people
should boost their experience with competition
.
On the other hand
, there are some negative effects on people
. Some teenagers who try to enrol in universities
will do badly in university exams; they will lose motivation. In other words
, people
have goals, which shouldn't be temporary; thus
, any kinds of difficulties may hinder their ability to reach their great position since competition
cannot positively affect society. For example
, in the USA, students who have never been in competitive areas may face some difficulties, which may lead them to lose their targets. In conclusion, there are both sides to the concept. I think it has beneficial effects due to
the bright future of humans; it can badly influence people
by avoiding their aims, so I consider it equally vital for the public.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Ensure all main points are well-supported and elaborated. A thorough examination of both positive and negative aspects with more specific examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on crafting smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay provides an introduction and conclusion, consider refining them to be more captivating and clearly link to the body paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both positive and negative aspects of university competition, showcasing an understanding of the topic complexity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a framework for the argument.
task achievement
Relevant examples like the one about companies preferring individuals with competitive experience add weight to the argument.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion