People often believe that the death penalty is effective in preventing severe crimes while others think the life-long sentence is more likely to discourage potential offenders from committing illegal acts.
People often believe that the
death
penalty
is effective in preventing severe crimes
while
others think the life-long sentence is more likely to discourage potential offenders from committing illegal acts. I partially agree with the latter; for more severe experiences, they would have to make amends for their sins regardless of the death
penalty
being an extreme form of punishment.
On the one hand, the death
penalty
has an incredible effect in deterring horrible wrongdoings since many suspects will be afraid of being killed by the authorities without their intentions. In other words
, the growing sense of horror toward the intense punishments such
as hanging and electric shock encouraged them to stop terrible murders and other evil crimes
. Moreover
, many suspects will regret that their future dreams and goals in future remain unaccomplished when their life is forcefully terminated, which makes it less likely for them to commit horrible crimes
. For instance
, the number of serious crimes
has dropped dramatically in the United States since it introduced the death
penalty
. Therefore
, more potential offenders are likely to reconsider their acts to avoid the harsh consequences before it is too late.
On the other hand
, the life-long sentence will lead to a declining number of severe crimes
as culprits experience the intense restrictions of their freedom in prison. Indeed, as they are forced to spend long periods in locked cells, being heavily guarded by the authorities, they often suffer from an intense level of stress. Consequently
, some prisoners even have deteriorating mental conditions as they are not allowed to go out to meet their friends and family. Furthermore
, prolonged time in a locked space can damage their health due to
the constant lack of exercise and access to sufficient medical care. Thus
, acknowledging that they cannot be freed for good makes it even more difficult for them to accept the harsh consequences of their wrongdoings.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that the life-long sentence is more effective in preventing terrible crimes
since many criminals do not want to lose their freedom. However
, the death
penalty
can also
reduce the number of serious crimes
because of the unimaginable fear of the way of their dying.Submitted by alamer_ma on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic and covers both aspects of the argument. However, it would be beneficial to expand more on how severe crimes are influenced by life-long sentences, maybe by including more specific examples or statistical data.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is mostly clear, but ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance readability. Linking sentences and connecting words could help the flow and coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive sentence structures and vary your vocabulary to make your writing more engaging. For example, instead of repeating 'intense punishments,' you might use 'severe penalties' or 'harsh sentences.'
coherence cohesion
You have a well-presented introduction and conclusion which neatly frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs that are focused on specific points, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You make good use of relevant examples to support your points, which helps in illustrating your arguments effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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