Now many people think that we are spending too much money and time on protecting wild animals. The money should be better spent on human population. Do you agree or disagree?

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this

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ultra-modern world, protecting wild

animals

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at any cost is some

people

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's goal and some other

people

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think

this

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is a big mistake.

This

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essay will illustrate the opinions of persons who agree with

this

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argument and

people

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who don't.

To begin

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, these kinds of

animals

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are widely in danger and if we don't help them, we may simply lose them because they absolutely will hurt or get killed by hunters or by other

animals

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In other words

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, they are simple creatures and they need our support and protection.

In addition

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, in spite of the high costs, we must protect wildlife

otherwise

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we will lose many kinds of

animals

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and if we lose an animal, we can never see it again.

For example

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, a 2013 study from Harvard University showed that 60% of lions in Africa are in danger and animal control organizations can help them easily.

Thus

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, humanity tells us to do so.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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think that

although

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they are in danger and they may get killed we should not spend too much

money

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on them because

firstly

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, poor

people

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around the world need

this

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money

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more and we can do lots of things with

this

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money

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to improve their life level

such

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as buying houses for them or feeding them. So, spending too much

money

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animals

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is not a good idea. In conclusion, in my opinion, we have to support

animals

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at any cost. if we take action we can save lots of species.

Although

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some

people

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don't think like me.

alikiadaahFri Jun 07 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that there are smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This makes your arguments more convincing and improves task achievement.

Task Achievement

Although you've addressed both perspectives, make sure to elaborate more on your personal viewpoint in the conclusion. This shows a balanced and comprehensive response.

Task Achievement

You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that logically frame the argument.

Task Achievement

Your examples, especially the Harvard University study, effectively support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Now many people think that we are spending too much money and time on protecting wild animals. The money should be better spent on human population. Do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that some types of criminals should not go to prison. Instead, they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do you agree?

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers and A.I. technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.