Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the outbreak of
diseases
has obsessed millions of people
. Some individuals believe that the only way to fight against illness and disease is to improve eco-friendly conditions and tackle housing problems. This
writer totally agrees with the notion that concentrating on addressing housing problems and natural pollution can contribute to staying away from diseases
.
It should be acknowledged that pollution seriously affects human’s
lives and animals. Change noun form
human
Due to
people
’s daily activities related to the degradation of the environment cause health consequences. For instance
, many factories are releasing to water sources toxic chemicals, which can lead to cancer and dysentery. Besides
, farmers are no strangers to using pesticides in order to enhance the
profits and it accidentally makes a lot of Change the word
their
people
poised. Therefore
, efforts should be made to stop those actions can
directly improve public health outcomes and lower the burden of Correct pronoun usage
that can
diseases
.
In addition
, housing problems should be also
worth considering. In urban areas where the population is plentiful and the conditions are inadequate can foster health issues. For example
, homeless people
who have to live under the gutter and the drain are highly infectious some
Change preposition
with some
diseases
. Hence
, governments should have appropriate policies to provide separated
and sanitary places. By ensuring access to safe and sufficient housing, Replace the word
separate
people
can prevent a range of illness
and certain Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
diseases
.
To sum up
, it requires various approaches for these issues, including infrastructure improvements and initiatives for reducing environmental pollution. By prioritizing efforts, authorities can create healthier lifestyles for their citizens that reduce the prevalence of diseases
.Submitted by zky1705202 on
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task achievement
Expand on your examples with more detail to enhance the evidence supporting your arguments. This could improve clarity and the strength of your reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a wider range of cohesive devices and synonyms to boost your essay's fluency and avoid repetition.
task achievement
Consider a brief counter-argument or acknowledgement of opposing viewpoints to deepen the analysis and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and organization of paragraphs.
task achievement
Relevance of examples and arguments to the thesis.
Your opinion
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