Some people think that one good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events, while others think that it is not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #world #peace #events

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It is worth considering that housing international

sports

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events can promote

world

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peace

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while

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others disagree with

this

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view. In my opinion,

also

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disagree with

this

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campaign; even though we stereotype that

sports

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can make humans have more unity, humans will show selfishness in competitive situations.

To begin

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with, international

sports

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event is not the

stage

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to promote

world

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peace

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; in fact, they are sport competitive every spotter comes with the name of their country and hopes that the national country wins 1st winner and has only one country.

Furthermore

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, every spotter has to spend the greatest amount of time

practicing

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practising

show examples

and preparing for one

sports

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event, making their pressure and trauma the only motivation for is winner and the reputation as a spotter.

Moreover

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, audiences on the grand

stage

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are from several countries that cheer for their home countries but make hate speeches for other countries, and numerous people are racist causing chaos all the

competition

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moments.

For instance

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, in the Olympics 2024 viewers in Europe or America always make noise when Asian spotters enter in

competition

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field and it can make low-confidence spotters.

In addition

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, the media is the most essential for promoting the

world

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peace

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campaign, but today, media ethics are declining;

for example

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, in the Olympics 2024, a Chinese ping pong player was stepped on by a European journalist, his most important weapon. The images that were released appeared to be intentional, causing the player to lose confidence and feel disappointed in the

competition

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. Social media

such

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as Facebook, X, and IG have an impact on

this

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campaign because they can make hate speeches more than audiences on the grand

stage

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it can not delete in the memories of readers.

To sum up

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, international

sports

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events are a

stage

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competition

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not to promote

world

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peace

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due to

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the fact, racist problems and ego of humans that can't delete it.

Submitted by np.napatping on Tue Nov 05 2024

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Provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas to support your main argument and ensure they are balanced and relevant.

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Include a few more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your argument and improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the main argument.

task achievement

The topic is addressed, and the position is clearly stated in the introduction.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
world peace
international sporting events
understanding
unity
cultural exchange
diplomacy
shared purpose
common goals
reduce tensions
conflicts
positive nationalism
fair play
sportsmanship
teamwork
collaboration
break down stereotypes
prejudice
dialogue
communication

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Some people think that one good way to promote world peace is through international sporting events, while others think that it is not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

When ask to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think we can use animals in the medical experiment for the benefits of humans, while others think this is a cruel thing, thus needing to be prohibited. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many part of the world, it is common for one parent to stay and home and raise a newborn child while the other works full-time to earn money. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.