Some people think that developments involving the internet have brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
A Group of citizens perceived that progression concerning the
internet
has gathered individuals together however
, others conclude that humans and societies have become increasingly loner. Different communities argued with each perception but I believe that it made folk from every corner of the globe to be more connected.
Firstly
, due to
the burgeoning of the internet
, the population get connected regardless of where they are located in a part of the world. Even families with different time zones could access online communication by utilizing a deluge of social media platforms like Facebook Messenger and Instagram. For instance
, siblings residing in Asia and Europe are capable of enjoying quality voice calls over the Internet
. Consequently
, this
development made the family ties more solid.
However
, the vast majority of families vehemently argued that this
innovation placed communities in dreadful isolation while
indulging themselves in social media; unity slowly vanished day by day for the reason that time was consumed solely by browsing the internet
instead
of having a group organization physically. For example
, the Philippines which is renowned as a social media addict in the world tend to lose its community strong relationships because everybody is busy on their own cellphone and computers. Hence
, this
improvement proves that the internet
breaks the unification of society.
Secondly
, a person might have their own perspective on how to magnify the effect of the internet
. Even in my own experience, communication became more accessible due to
the advent of technology and it serves as a major aid to connect and reconnect with my long-lost friends; likewise
, it is a great source of the medium in emergency situations since the internet
is available and utilized worldwide. As a result
, it is a great privilege to encounter this
internet
innovation.
In summary, the development of the internet
made public from different parts of the world to be connected and closer. Despite others being intensely opposed this
would place communities in isolation, however
, in my opinion, the evolution of the internet
brought family closer despite their distances.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for a complete response. To improve, ensure that every paragraph explicitly links back to the central argument or topic sentence.
task achievement
Some sentences could be grammatically improved for better clarity. Read through each sentence carefully, and consider rephrasing any complicated or lengthy parts to make them clearer.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to better link your ideas together. For example, use phrases like 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' and 'in contrast' to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should stick closely to its main point to improve coherence. Avoid overly lengthy sentences or trying to include too many ideas in one paragraph.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps readers understand your main argument and wraps up your essay nicely.
task achievement
You use relevant specific examples to support your points, which makes your argument more compelling and concrete.
task achievement
Your essay covers both views and includes your own opinion, which is critically important in the IELTS task response.