Some people think that developments involving the internet have brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #developments #internet #communities

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A Group of citizens perceived that progression concerning the

internet

Use synonyms

has gathered individuals together

however

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, others conclude that humans and societies have become increasingly loner. Different communities argued with each perception but I believe that it made folk from every corner of the globe to be more connected.

Firstly

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due to

Linking Words

the burgeoning of the

internet

Use synonyms

, the population get connected regardless of where they are located in a part of the world. Even families with different time zones could access online communication by utilizing a deluge of social media platforms like Facebook Messenger and Instagram.

For instance

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, siblings residing in Asia and Europe are capable of enjoying quality voice calls over the

Internet

Use synonyms

Consequently

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this

Linking Words

development made the family ties more solid.

However

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, the vast majority of families vehemently argued that

this

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innovation placed communities in dreadful isolation

while

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indulging themselves in social media; unity slowly vanished day by day for the reason that time was consumed solely by browsing the

internet

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of having a group organization physically.

For example

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, the Philippines which is renowned as a social media addict in the world tend to lose its community strong relationships because everybody is busy on their own cellphone and computers.

Hence

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this

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improvement proves that the

internet

Use synonyms

breaks the unification of society.

Secondly

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, a person might have their own perspective on how to magnify the effect of the

internet

Use synonyms

. Even in my own experience, communication became more accessible

due to

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the advent of technology and it serves as a major aid to connect and reconnect with my long-lost friends;

likewise

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, it is a great source of the medium in emergency situations since the

internet

Use synonyms

is available and utilized worldwide.

As a result

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, it is a great privilege to encounter

this

Linking Words

internet

Use synonyms

innovation. In summary, the development of the

internet

Use synonyms

made public from different parts of the world to be connected and closer. Despite others being intensely opposed

this

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would place communities in isolation,

however

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, in my opinion, the evolution of the

internet

Use synonyms

brought family closer despite their distances.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Fri Jun 07 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for a complete response. To improve, ensure that every paragraph explicitly links back to the central argument or topic sentence.

task achievement

Some sentences could be grammatically improved for better clarity. Read through each sentence carefully, and consider rephrasing any complicated or lengthy parts to make them clearer.

coherence cohesion

Use more cohesive devices to better link your ideas together. For example, use phrases like 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' and 'in contrast' to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should stick closely to its main point to improve coherence. Avoid overly lengthy sentences or trying to include too many ideas in one paragraph.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps readers understand your main argument and wraps up your essay nicely.

task achievement

You use relevant specific examples to support your points, which makes your argument more compelling and concrete.

task achievement

Your essay covers both views and includes your own opinion, which is critically important in the IELTS task response.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

339 words

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Some people think that developments involving the internet have brought people closer together while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Technology is being used more and more in education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than local languages.If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Obesity is an increasing public health problem in some parts of the world. Explain some possible reasons for this problem, and suggest some solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.