IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative impact on the environment ,eating habits and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the consumption of fast meals is rapidly growing all over the world.Almost 75% of the world's population uses ready-made
food
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 over other
food
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.Adults have different schools of thought about junk feed.I completely agree with the following statement because eating junk bread has no significant benefits than many disadvantages. To start with, the Industry preparing fast cuisine has spread its vast roots around the globe. The trend began in European countries in the late 70s and still continues.The core idea to develop
such
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 type of fast foodstuff was just to save time. rubbish
food
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 is the only item which is prepared within no time
however
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 people started consuming it.
For example
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, In 2012, the percentage of people consuming junk became 78% of the total population, which became a sign of danger.
Secondly
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,
this
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 production has a great negative impact on the environment,eating habits
also
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 families.It weakens
body
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 strength and
also
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 degrades the immune system in habitats which is particularly the major root of the
body
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.The production had influenced a great number of young man persuading their families towards
this
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 trash.
Moreover
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, it is extremely harmful
however
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 it causes diseases like major Heart diseases (because it increases cholesterol levels in the
body
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) and increases the level of fats in the
body
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 which unfits the human
body
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 for daily routines and workouts.
For instance
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, Surveys and reports from 2002 to 2016 indicate that 60% of diseases in adults are because of eating fast
food
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 items.
To sum up
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,
this
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 business doesn't have even a single advantage other than containing a number of harms and causes,
although
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 the industry has no major role but is extremely used as a ritual or show off.So it's better to use it occasionally rather than routinely .

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your standpoint. Consider including a brief overview of what will be discussed.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points more thoroughly. Each paragraph should focus on a single argument or idea, providing clear explanations and specific examples to support your position.
coherence and cohesion
Consider organizing your essay more effectively. Use clear paragraph breaks to separate different ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Use linking words to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Avoid informal language and unexplained abbreviations (e.g., 'rubbish food'). Aim for formal academic language and clarity in expression.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structure. This will not only make your essay more coherent but also more engaging to read.
coherence and cohesion
Provide a more nuanced conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay and reinforces your stance, without introducing new information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental pollution
  • packaging waste
  • high energy consumption
  • convenience
  • marketing strategies
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • high consumption of fats
  • processed foods
  • family dynamics
  • home-cooked meals
  • healthier options
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