In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge of experience

When someone gets older in Britain, they usually will live
together with
people
who are their age and be taken
care
of by nurses. The
government
often has to pay for
this
service. In my opinion, the
one
that should pay for taking
care
of older
people
is their family, not the
government
.
This
is because the elderly are the family's
responsibility
, not the
government
's. First and foremost, the
one
who should take the
responsibility
of taking
care
of the old family member is their own family. They should not give the task of taking
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their elder to the authority,
due to
the fact that in the past it was
them that
Correct pronoun usage
they who
show examples
took
care
of the family.
For example
, when the elders are still at a young age, they don’t neglect the
responsibility
to take
care
of their family,
on the other hand
, they are being responsible and make sure their family is convenient. In my view, taking
care
of older family members is
one
of many ways to pay respect to them.
Secondly
, the
government
already has many responsibilities, so taking
care
of
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
population should not be their priority. Despite the fact that the citizens already paid the taxes and it could be used for services like paying nurses to take
care
of older
people
, I think it is better to use the tax money for something more useful to the community.
For instance
, the authorities can use the funds to build free medical services, so that numerous
people
can do free consultations for their health. In conclusion, the
one
who should pay for taking
care
of older
people
is their own family.
Due to
the fact that the
government
still has many duties to be fulfilled, taking
care
of the elderly is their family task.
Submitted by nputera.ramadhani on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on and balancing your points. Discussing the role of institutions and resources could add depth.
coherence cohesion
Focus on refining your transitions between paragraphs. Connect ideas more fluidly to enhance readability.
task achievement
You clearly presented your stance and supported it with examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
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