The only way to improve safety on our road is to give stricter punishments to driving offenses. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

#safety #road #punishments #offenses

It is believed by some that the sole implementation of rigorous penalties will potentially mitigate

traffic

incidents. The writer of

this

essay disagrees with the upside

due to

its limited efficiency

as well as

overshadowing proactive measures. One of the principal reasons why stricter penalties alone cannot fully enhance

road

safety is that their effectiveness is confined to certain areas. In essence, accidents on the

road

are often born from a complex interplay of elements, not simply a disregard for the law.

For instance

, it should be acknowledged that scenarios of texting

while

driving or navigating through harsh weather conditions significantly increase the likelihood of accidents on the

road

Hence

this

singular strategy has proved to be inefficient because of the multitude of other impediments exacerbating

this

menace. Another crucial aspect that must be considered is how

this

approach may limit alternative methods of reshaping public attitudes towards safety concerns. Specifically, rather than fully focusing towards punishing or fining careless drivers consistently, it is more effective to equip people with particularly problem-solving abilities and a comprehensive understanding of potential accident indicators that are likely to force drivers to become proactive in eliminating and reducing the allure of those

road

-related concerns.

For instance

, Japan has integrated speed cameras

together with

road

bends as part of a

traffic

audit in order to warn people from getting involved in

road

accidents associated with calming the

traffic

flow during peak hours. In conclusion, the way of punishing relentlessly against

traffic

offences does not solely contribute to

road

safety as

this

strategy is only enforceable in some urgent cases

together with

closing the door for other proactively alternative measures that can prevent the likelihood of

traffic

collisions.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Fri Jun 07 2024

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task achievement

While your response is comprehensive, some ideas could benefit from further clarity and elaboration. This might include offering more specific examples or suggestions for proactive measures to improve road safety.

task achievement

Consider rephrasing some sentences to ensure that your ideas are expressed more clearly. For example, the phrase "this singular strategy has proved to be inefficient because of the multitude of other impediments exacerbating this menace" could be simplified to enhance understanding.

coherence cohesion

The transitions between paragraphs are generally smooth, but adding more linking phrases could improve the overall coherence of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured with clear main points that are generally well-supported.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompt well, providing both arguments against the main idea with relevant examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The only way to improve safety on our road is to give stricter punishments to driving offenses. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Anyone can use a mobile phone to answer the work call and home call at any place, or 7 days a week. Do you think there are more negative or positive effects on both individuals and society?

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation.to what extend do you agree or dis agree.

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?