Some people believe that in order to reduce crimes, prisoners should be given longer prison sentences while some people think there are other alternative ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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There is no denying the fact that punishing criminal activities is essential.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that in order to lower the crime rate prisoners must spend longer hours in lockup, there is
also
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an argument that opposes
this
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controversial topic.
This
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essay will analyse both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
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with, reducing confinement sentences might be useful in some case scenarios.
In other words
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, criminals with violent tendencies and first-degree records, should not spend less time in jail.
In addition
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, decreasing periods for teenagers and individuals with minor crime rates or first-time offences is reasonable because these types of people will be affected if they spend long periods in lockup.
For example
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, statistics reveal information about an evaluation was made regarding youngsters involved with criminal activities, they had become great activists in their community
due to
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serving service community hours
instead
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of going to penitentiary.
In other words
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, there are many effective alternatives to penitentiary.
Firstly
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, sending criminals to rehab. It is
also
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possible to say that criminals with psychological issues and a past full emotional abuse must be treated in health centres.
Moreover
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, resolving these issues might be beneficial to reduce dysfunctional communities. In conclusion, there is no right or wrong answer to
this
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question. On balance,
however
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, raising awareness among people to be united and collaborative might help raise a supportive society that will result in reducing crime levels.
Submitted by m.seba770 on

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task achievement
To further strengthen your task achievement, ensure you provide a clear stance throughout the essay, and fully develop all parts of your argument. For example, elaborate more on the alternative approaches suggested and discuss their possible effects compared to prison sentences.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph logically builds upon the previous one, with clear transitions. Enhance the linkage of ideas, especially when introducing alternative solutions, to streamline the flow of your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views related to crime reduction and the effectiveness of prison sentences.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your discussion.
task achievement
Using concrete examples, such as the community service for youngsters, adds depth to your argument and demonstrates task engagement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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