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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australlia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the number of workers in different occupations who migrated to Australlia between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #workers #occupations #australlia #summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart below gives information on the number of
workers
Use synonyms
 in different occupations who migrated to
Australlia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The given illustration compares data on the
workload’s
Change noun form
workload
show examples
 number migrating to Australia in various careers from 2009 to 2012. The data was measured in thousand Generally speaking, labour for
accountant
Fix the agreement mistake
accountants
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 stood at the highest over the timeframe
whereas
Linking Words
 that of computer
programmer
Fix the agreement mistake
programmers
show examples
 was the lowest.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the number of
workers
Use synonyms
 in
accountant
Replace the word
accounting
show examples
 in 2010 was the highest record compared to others. Beginning with
accountaint
Correct your spelling
accountant
accountants
, there were 20 thousand
workers
Use synonyms
 in 2009, prior to reaching
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak at 28 in 2010 and
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
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 by 7 in 2012. Regarding
cook
Wrong verb form
cooking
show examples
, the statistics ranged from 15 to 18, peaking in 2011, throughout the period. Turning into software engineer, 21 was its peak in 2011, after gradually rising from 19 in the year 2009, it
then
Linking Words
 declined to 17 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, from 2009 to 2011, the data for computer
programmer
Fix the agreement mistake
programmers
show examples
 fluctuated between 2 to 4, before it ended at 5 thousand
workers
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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