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Band 6

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990
#show #levels #participation #education #science #countries
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The bar charts compare the average
years
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 of education, learners' participation in science-related
career
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careers
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as well as
Linking Words
 research spending in developing and developed
countries
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 from 1980 to 1990.
According to
Linking Words
 the first bar graph, the average
years
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 of schooling in developing
countries
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 was only about 2
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was over 8
years
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 in industrialised
countries
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 in 1980. After ten
years
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, the number of
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 in school on
an
Correct article usage
apply
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average increased both in the developing and industrialised
countries
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 reaching just over 3
years
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 in developing
countries
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while
Linking Words
 over 10
years
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 in developed
countries
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the second graph, the number of
Scientist
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Scientists
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 and
Technician
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technicians
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 was much higher in developed
countries
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 than the developing
countries
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. The percentage of
Scientist
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Scientists
show examples
 and
Technician
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technicians
show examples
 in developing
countries
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 both in 1980 and 1990 was below 20
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was around 50 on
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average in developed
countries
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the third graph
represents
Verb problem
shows
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 that the amount spent on Research and Development in industrially developed
countries
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 was much higher than the spending in developing
countries
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. In 1980 the spending was around 50 billion US
dollar
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dollars
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 in developing
countries
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while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 amount was more than 150 billion US
dollar
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dollars
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 in developed
countries
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. Interestingly, after 10
years
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 the spending
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Research & Development in developed
countries
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 was doubled
while
Linking Words
 that amount decreased almost by 50% in developing
countries
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shani.menglieva.94 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment rates
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • tertiary education
  • literacy rates
  • scientific research
  • research and development (R&D)
  • correlation
  • gender disparities
  • participation
  • developing countries
  • industrialized countries
  • investment
  • comparison
  • impact
  • specified years
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