IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that television has no
use
Use synonyms
 other than entertainment; others believe that individuals can
use
Use synonyms
 it for educational purposes. I am of the opinion that
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertisements
Use synonyms
 can disrupt the flow of learning,
people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 applications on
TV
Use synonyms
 that are education-related to choose and learn what they like. On the one hand, all
TV
Use synonyms
 channels, including educational ones, play
advertisements
Use synonyms
 from time to time, and
this
Linking Words
 can be off-putting when learning visually, but it does not bother us if what is being screened is for entertainment. We like to not be interrupted when learning something; if we were to be interrupted, we would lose focus and not want to put in the effort again.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that television is not a useful tool for learning because the
advertisements
Use synonyms
 disrupt the learning rhythm.
However
Linking Words
, there are alternative ways to
use
Use synonyms
 television for learning.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of depending on
TV
Use synonyms
 channels to learn,
people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 apps like YouTube Premium or any other learning platform. These applications have the feature to search subjects or topics, making learning easy to access.
For example
Linking Words
, many medical students
use
Use synonyms
 YouTube
TV
Use synonyms
 to search for topics related to their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of going through the books. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are a distraction to the process of learning, viewers can
use
Use synonyms
 educational applications to specifically search for what they want to learn.
Thus
Linking Words
, TVs can be used for other purposes as well.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Incorporate more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific educational programs or channels that are known for their educational content.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-structured, some arguments would benefit from further development. For example, the point about advertisements disrupting learning could be expanded with more examples or a deeper explanation.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good summary of your stance.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument and include a clear opinion, which directly addresses the task prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational programs
  • informative documentaries
  • interactive learning
  • entertaining content
  • reality shows
  • cartoons
  • intellectual development
  • parental guidance
  • screen time
  • creative thinking
  • educational potential
What to do next:
Look at other essays: